Dinand (11) is forever linked to any FC Groningen top prize. ‘It still gives me goosebumps’

Crazy actually, says Miriam Haak (49). She looks back on the first months after Dinand’s death, the worst thing that can happen to a mother, with very warm feelings. “Dinand died on December 5, 2014. After that, FC Groningen invited me to every match. It was like I was being carried, one duel at a time. I felt everything that Dinand was there. It still gives me goosebumps.”

In December 2013, she doesn’t know yet that her life will never be the same again. That month, Dinand participates in a Christmas walk at his school in Loppersum. He tells his mother that his head is bothering him a little. A paracetamol helps for the moment, but the next morning the headache returns.

A quiff like Richairo Zivkovic’s

After a trip to the doctor’s office in Delfzijl, Dinand is referred to the UMCG. The scan shows that he has a brain tumor. Dinand undergoes surgery, radiation and chemo. If he loses his hair, he will cry. He got the inspiration for his quiff from the hairstyle of Richairo Zivkovic, the then young striker of FC Groningen.

Because Dinand is a supporter of the Pride of the North. And not just a little bit either. In September 2014, he beamed from ear to ear when he was allowed to train with the selection thanks to Make-A-Wish and FC Groningen. Dinand is picked up from school and taken to the Euroborg in a white limousine with his mother, brother Nathan and best friend Mats. Maikel Kieftenbeld and Rasmus Lindgren take a seat next to Dinand in the limousine. He has his picture taken with the pros and has the day of his life.

A month later, Dinand hears that he will never get better.

‘Dinand was always a social child’

“He bore his fate so bravely,” mother Miriam says now, almost ten years later. “So wise, so caring for his environment. Dinand was always a social child, with an antenna for the feelings of others. He continued to go to school as long as possible. He also took part in a reading competition. He sat there with his crutch. Because he definitely wanted it.”

Back to that white limousine. Dinand made a promise to Kieftenbeld and Lindgren in the backseat. He would send them the photos of them together. A promise is a promise. His mother sends the photos to FC Groningen with a letter, in which she informs Kieftenbeld and Lindgren that her son would like to thank the two very much. But she also writes that Dinand will not live much longer.

A few days later she receives a phone call. Team manager Bas Roorda says that the entire selection is listening. And that the players would love to do something for Dinand. Whatever.

The eighth final of the KNVB Cup is just around the corner. Flevo Boys-out. If FC Groningen wins in the polder, Dinand can go home on the team bus, Roorda said. Miriam: “That had never happened before. But the players wanted it. I have never hoped so hard that FC Groningen would win.”

‘Their involvement was genuine’

Dinand is allowed on the bus, because Groningen wins 8-1 against Flevo Boys. Michael de Leeuw drives him across the field, while a few supporters lift him up, wheelchair and all. Miriam: “He was also allowed to sit in the dressing room. The players had to shower, of course, but Dinand said they took turns visiting him. I thought that was very special. Their involvement was genuine. From the start.”

On the bus he gives each player a lucky doll. Bought at the world shop in Loppersum and packed myself. Mother Miriam: “As a mother, can you be even more proud of your beautiful child?”

When they get back to Groningen, Bas Roorda says that Dinand should be there again for the next cup match – against FC Volendam.

But Dinand does not make it to that match. He died on December 5, 2014.

Is it a coincidence that the barely scoring Maikel Kieftenbeld, Dinand’s favorite player, makes the 4-0 against Vitesse in the quarter-finals? Of course not, says Miriam. With Dinand as a talisman, FC Groningen won the first and only main prize in club history on May 3, 2015 in De Kuip.

‘He enjoyed all the special moments’

After that season of thousands, Miriam collapses. She is exhausted and does not know what to do with her grief. After a while she seeks professional help. She leaves her managerial position in healthcare for what it is. She becomes a bus driver and joins the volunteer fire brigade in Loppersum. The village that was there for her in every possible way when Dinand was ill.

Later she moves to Uithuizen. She creates a memorial place in the hall. A painting by Dinand. His FC Groningen scarf is there. His hat. Maikel Kieftenbeld’s captaincy. And of course the tickets for the cup matches of that very special season.

Every year on December 5, the anniversary of Dinand’s death, Miriam allows herself to let her tears flow. “Then I want to be alone. Once a year I surrender to my sadness. Then I don’t want to pretend to be big for others. When Dinand was very ill, I lay awake at night thinking that my child knew he was about to die. But he stayed strong. He enjoyed all the special moments that were to come.”

“I don’t follow football closely, but I recently saw Tjaronn Chery on TV again. He now plays for NEC. Then I’m almost crying on the couch again. Or take Bas Roorda, who now works at PSV. What an incredible sweetheart. When I see him on TV, I always think of Dinand.”

“The fact that he remains forever linked to FC Groningen’s cup win touches my heart. And it means a lot to me when others start talking about him. Fortunately that still happens. Of course I was crazy about him. But I never dreamed that Dinand would make such an impression on all those other people. Wow, they haven’t forgotten him, I think. My special child.”