“QHow many little Dianas are there today in the world? ». This is the question with which Marco Griffini, President, comments on the news of the child who died at 18 months, left alone at home for six endless days by her mother. A mother who evidently did not want to be a mother.
The child who died in Milan and the others
Traces of benzodiazepines in the trickle of milk left in the bottle: not enough to feed Diana, the child who died of hunger and thirst. If there were any, the accusation of voluntary murder for the 37-year-old Alessia Pifferi could be added to theaggravating circumstance of premeditation. The picture is of a gravity that is difficult to conceive and tolerate.
Stories of abandonment in silence
We can ask ourselves how many little Diana there are in the world or even just in Italy, with Griffini. But the question is unanswered. The names of the children who live the tragedy of abandonment in general silence are not known. But nor is there a census of those who, reported among fragile families and temporarily placed in the support system of social welfare services, are technically “out of the family” because for example entrusted to foster families or family communities.
The UN has for several years already recommended Italy to activate a database of children outside their families of origin, but in Italy we are still behind because there is not even, for example, «a“ database of adoptable and not yet adopted children ”. And it should exist on the basis of a law of 2001 », explains Enrica Dato, Ai.Bi consultant and lawyer of the Catania Bar. This leaves in the darkest limbo, thousands of couples willing to adopt, on the one hand, and abandoned children, on the other.
He could have an abortion or abandon her at birth
But we can also ask ourselves why this woman, who a mother did not want to be, decided to keep the child whose death she caused. She could have tried to have an abortion and “at that time the operators would have been required to mark a possibility of our legal system, that is, the abandonment of the children at birth”, explains the lawyer. “He could have given birth to Diana but not recognized her, without having to involve her father, and left her safe in the hospital“.
He would then have had 2 months to reconsider, otherwise he could have gone his own way, without looking back. In cases like this, the adoption process is fast, Diana would soon have a home and a family worthy of her. She wouldn’t be the dead girl who made headlines in the newspapers.
Actually Alessia Pifferi seems to have given birth at home and when she had to go to the hospital for her little girl’s kidney problems, no operator caught oddities in her relationship with her daughter, or didn’t report them.
The complicated process of adoption
It is rather complicated, very complicated, the process of adoption in the case of a child recognized by the parents, or from the mother, although in her family of origin she lives in conditions of evident abandonment and neglect. According to our order an attempt is made to keep the child in the original family unit, supporting him in case he faces difficult situations that can be described as transitory. “According to Law 184 of 1983”, explains Dato, “the minor has the right to live with his family, if judged suitable, and this must have all possible support from the State to deal with any psycho-social or material order that translate into a temporary unsuitability but that are surmountable ».
171 children were declared adoptable with unknown parents in 2021 according to data provided by the Ministry of Justice, Department for Juvenile and Community Justice. On the other hand in 2021 899 adoptability were pronounced and 866 national adoptions pronounced against 7,970 requests for availability submitted by married couples to the Italian Juvenile Courts (Data published in May 2022 and updated to 2021).
Neighbors and family members did not report it
The dead child’s family was obviously not suitable. Could neighbors, family members and acquaintances have reported her to social services? «Citizens have the right to report to the Public Prosecutor’s Office at the Juvenile Court situations of neglect that could jeopardize the safety and well-being of children. There reporting is an obligation for public officials, and for public official we mean, for example, also a teacher “.
From social services to temporary foster care
The reports are not intended to take children away from families but to ensure that families are monitored by the competent authorities, including social services (the family itself, if in difficulty, can contact the social welfare services of local authorities) . “The operators”, explains the lawyer, “will have to assess the situation, activate the support measures of the core of the case, including any temporary custody of the child to other families, and report to the Prosecutor of the republic, which is the only body responsible for activating the procedure to ascertain adoptability at the Juvenile Court “.
Abandonment, and the consequent start of an adoptability procedure for the child, takes shape only if the conditions of neglect that result in lack of assistance, both moral and material, are deemed non-transitory.
The suitability of family members up to the sixth degree of kinship who are called in the procedure is also assessed “, only if none of the parents and relatives within this degree is suitable to take care of the child, this is declared adoptable.
Otherwise, if the difficulties are transitory, alternative family support measures to the family of origin, including temporary foster care, they can be extended up to a maximum of 24 months. “And they are almost always renewed”, continues the expert. “But a foster care that can be, for example, even only part-time, to give the family time to heal the difficulties”.
The will is not enough to get rid of a child
In any case, the parent cannot be said to be unavailable to be a parent. Diana’s mother could therefore not have simply “handed her over” to a mother more worthy of her. It is said that “in our legal system family relationships are not available, that is, no one can dispose of their own family relationships”, explains Dato. The Juvenile Court intervenes with measures that can limit or suspend or revoke parental responsibility only if faced with evidence of unfitness, for example if a father hits his son, but not if he simply says he doesn’t want it. It is not enough, the will is not enough to get rid of a child.
Abortion and maternity support
“In reality, the same logic governs the abortion law,” says the lawyer. “It is the socio-health workers who have to find the objective situations that lead to abortion justify the termination of pregnancy to avoid harm to the fetus or woman, while if a woman simply declares that she does not want to conceive, technically the law does not provide for an automatic application of abortion and is instead in their role to provide support so that motherhood can continue. Also making clear the possibility of the aforementioned birth in anonymity with abandonment at birth “.
There are 30,000 children in limbo, in temporary foster care for years
The Italian state should do everything by law to ensure that children are born and that they remain in their families of origin. However you think about the goodness of this “commitment”, the effects are not negligible. «The consequence is that, as the 12th report of the Crc Groupof which Aibi is a part, there are about 30 thousand children in limbo, in temporary foster care for years»Says Enrica Dato.
That is, children who could no longer be with their birth parents because they were unable to provide for them but who are not given the second chance of a stable family. Custody then remains a condition sine dienot infrequently up to the age of 21.
Families or family homes, the Regions decide
Foster care can take place with foster families or with family homes: “Alternative solutions to the family of origin depend on the Regions and their availability in economic terms and human resources,” explains the lawyer. «Thus, if Lombardy can count on an active network of associations of foster families, Sicily relies on family homes, considered easier to monitor. There is one strong disparity in the Italian territory in this subject”.
The myth of the natural family
Behind this structure there are cultural reasons and lack of resources, but also, as the president of Ai.Bi denounces, the myth of the natural family and the blood bond.
«A further proof of this», explains Enrica Dato, Ai.Bi. consultant, «is the recent tendency of judges to decide for so-called soft adoptions, or myths. In cases defined as “permanent semi-abandonment”, which by law would not exist, provide that the child even if adopted by a new family does not sever relations with the family of origin but rather maintains them“. A choice that to some extent opens a door to children, after the limbo of foster care. But it is a door that opens onto a new limbo.
Adoption, a complicated and wonderful journey
All this, however, should not discourage those parents who feel they want to adopt one or more children, because “As complicated as it may be, it is a wonderful journey»Explains Dato. “A piece of advice, although not decisive, is to give your availability not only in the Court of your place of residence but also in others”.
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