“I have been single for four years now and that is sometimes quite lonely, so I hope to find love here.” 29-year-old Nandy Benneker from Alkmaar has not yet renounced dating via common sites such as Tinder, but she thinks dating via Autdating is a solution.
Nandy has traits of autism and that’s why she participates in the date night for young adults with autism. “Most people with autism are introverted like me, so it’s less scary.”
She is at the city beach De Kade. Opposite her at the table is her match, a 34-year-old male. They chat pleasantly. “I forgot his name because of nerves, but it’s actually going well, we can talk to each other,” she says with a big smile on her face. “I’m already feeling some tingles.”
The Alkmaar is not inexperienced when it comes to dating. She previously also made ‘normal’ dates via the dating app Tinder, but that was not always easy.
“That’s a bit uncomfortable, because you only see each other in photos. Boys also have a lot of self-confidence and I don’t have that. You also have one-on-one contact here and there is guidance, which makes it feel much safer .”
Elisah Gildemeyer is one of the supervisors who, on behalf of Head-Care supports the participants of the date night. Kop-Zorg is an organization that offers help to young adults with autism.
“It is more difficult for many young people with autism to make social contacts. How do you address people? What do you ask during a date? We also practice this with the young people and we keep a close eye on whether people feel comfortable .”
To ensure that the conversation with your match does not get stuck, there are also conversation cards on the table with questions. What can you really enjoy? Or what makes life worth living? The 20-year-old Femke Brucher from Heiloo and the 21-year-old Stefan from Dirkshorn eagerly use it.
Scammed
It is especially nice for Femke that her dates know that she has autism. “You understand each other very well because you are in the same boat. You know what someone is going through and you can support each other.” Her match Stefan can attest to that.
He has known since October that he has autism and likes that he can look each other straight in the eye during the Autdating. “I also made dates through dating sites, but then I was scammed. More and more money was being asked from me via the internet and unfortunately I ended up there as a young boy. This does help to not feel alone anymore.”
Do you want to know if the spark has passed between Femke and Stefan? View the images below: