“C‘is an abysmal distance between the world of adults and children. And, often, it is precisely in this emptiness that the anger manifested with violence originates. To prevent this from happening, it is adults need to stop talking to young people from the height of their authority and learn to deal with them, taking care of their needs and, above all, their frailties»: To affirm it, regretted but not surprised by the proliferation of aggression among the very young, often gathered in baby gangs, is Daniel Zaccaro.
Daniel Zaccaro with Don Claudio and Andrea Franzoso
The thermometer of youth discomfort
The twenty-nine year old from Milan comments on the violence that took place on New Year’s Eve in Piazza Duomo not as an expert, but guided by first-hand experience: “Unfortunately these events have been happening for years, I myself was a protagonist some time ago, but now they are amplified by communication and social networks, thermometer of youth discomfort, which I hope will further stimulate society to question the reasons for this drift ».
A drift from which Daniel managed to save himself thanks to the right people he met along the path strewn with falls and relapses, who from the popular palaces of Quarto Oggiaro took him behind the bars of the “Beccaria” juvenile prison in Milan to various prisons and communities in Bari, Bologna, Catania and Arezzo.
The weight of expectations
“In my neighborhood, the value of a person was measured with the crimes, the ability to be imprisoned, the ostentation of designer clothes, women and motors. Respect won him the most prevaricator, the most criminal. And I dreamed of becoming the most respected “he says, tracing the origins of his discomfort to a missed goal on a football field, when he was only 9 years old, who broke his dream of becoming an Inter champion, but above all he brought down the expectations placed in him by family and friends.
«I supported my favorite team – he explains – and playing them was my dream, but for me, who at the time I was just a child, kicking a ball was above all an opportunity to have fun in complete freedom. The pressure I felt on me, however, blocked me, making me a loser with so much anger inside. It’s like I’ve felt compelled to find another way to earn respect and admiration. And, unfortunately, knowing only the wrong direction, I started having fun by frightening others and establishing relationships based on oppression ».
The road to crime
Like this, among the school desks, Daniel has become the bully who frightened or beat his peers “for good”, then moved on to the theft of mopeds, robberies to get hold of cell phones and wallets up to the point of robbing a bank when he was only 17 years old.
“Those actions made me feel proud and powerful, I always wanted more, going beyond all limits and discovering money as the main tool for gaining popularity»He continues describing the prison as “the check point I needed to avoid doing even more irreparable damage and start a path of introspection”.
The need to be heard
Between prisons and communities, Daniel was lucky enough to find the comfort of a look without prejudice in educators, psychologists and teachers who recognized his value and offered him support to build what he had been denied up to that moment: a listening space where you can open up without fear of being judged.
“Women have had great relevance in my path – he is keen to point out – they helped me to discover my emotional side which up until that moment I thought was synonymous with fragility”.
Towards a new goal
Don Claudio taught him the value of solidarity and true freedom, chaplain of the juvenile prison, who, from the first meeting, imagined for him a future different from that destiny that seemed already written, transmitting a sense of peace and an irrepressible energy with his attitude free from judgments, authentic and always understanding .
In the Kairos community, founded by the priest, despite the inevitable and painful escapes and relapses, Daniel has started to live his “favorable moment” as well as a quality time, no longer just the sum of hours, days, months and years to pass without meaning, but focusing on a goal that made him a free and responsible man.
Daniel’s rebirth
Mistakes have become an occasion for reflection and growth. Violence has given way to responsibility. The time lost behind the crimes was recovered by dedicating himself to reading books in which he looked for pieces of himself, so much so that, in February 2020, he obtained a degree in Educational Sciences at the Catholic University in Milan.
“The place where my rebirth began became my workplace: for three years I was an educator in the community of Don Claudio, then the time has come to disengage from the ghosts of the past rooted within those walls, so I started a new working adventure, always in the field of social services, at the Municipality of Milan “he adds, trusting the I dream of opening a center to optimize the route of young people in difficulty and families, where discomfort often originates.
These are the new horizons of Daniel Zaccaro who, in front of the mirror, finally he sees himself mature, free, satisfied, without having to wear masks anymore.
Daniel Zaccaro with Marracash, don Claudio, Andrea Franzoso and the minister Marta Cartabia at the presentation of the book “I was a bully”
An exemplary testimony
To make him even more proud is the book “I was a bully”, in bookstores from 11 January for De Agostini, in which the author Andrea Franzoso collected his testimony. “We have two opposite lives: I am a former bullied, while Daniel committed crimes, I was an officer of the Carabinieri – says the writer with a smile, who is now dedicating himself to civic education texts – but what unites us is the same hunger for authenticity ».
“Reading saved my life, it made me shift my gaze from the criminal Vallanzasca to the philosopher Galimberti – concludes Daniel – and now I hope that this book can reach the hands of teachers, educators, adults but above all children for demonstrate that errors should not represent a sentence, but a lesson to learn the language of good together ”.
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