1. Research first
What are you actually looking for? Do you want a serious relationship, or do you want to scratch around first? There is nothing wrong with the latter. In fact, it can help you figure out what type you’re looking for and whether it’s actually a good fit for you. And whether you are really ready for it. Often a previous love is not yet clear from memory, which will stand in the way of a successful relationship attempt.
2. Be honest
There are plenty of dating apps and dating sites that you can take advantage of. Some you have to pay for, others are free. It’s best to stick to one platform, otherwise you won’t see the forest for the trees. Provide a good-looking photo, not the one from fifteen years ago.
May be quite flattering, so do smile, but leave out the filters and especially those sunglasses. You want to be able to look someone in the eye. Also be honest about how you are put together and what you are looking for. Do not make yourself more exciting than you are, that will only create stress during the meeting.
3. Don’t wait too long
Do you have a nice contact with someone online? Then don’t wait too long to make an appointment. The other person may be able to send very nice messages, but if the person is sitting opposite you and is rude to the waitress or is constantly sighing and groaning, it’s a different story. Only in real life do you see how someone really is. Keep in mind that there is a lot of cheating online and it would be a waste of your time if that athletic forties you have fallen in love with from a distance turns out to be a pot-bellied sixties.
4. Keep it short
Such a first date is of course very exciting. It can be very easy, but also very disappointing, including painful silences. So don’t make it too long, an hour to an hour and a half. Never meet at home, but choose a public place, such as a Grand Café. That is not as noisy as a pub and you are not pinned up like in a restaurant. Or take a city walk; doing something active is good for the nerves.
5. Go on repeat
Well, maybe you didn’t immediately feel a ‘click’, but that could also be due to nerves. Some people need time to loosen up. You probably haven’t shown the other person all facets of who you are either. So always give someone a second chance. Or you have to be sure that it won’t work, then of course it stops. Don’t want to meet the other person again? Too bad, don’t take it personally. This is just not the right match.
Be carefull
Dating fraud is very common and scammers are getting smarter at creating a fake dating profile. The most important tip is: if you’ve never seen your online love in real life and he asks for money, it’s almost always wrong. All alarm bells should go off at these signals:
- Your dating partner is a foreigner. In many cases it concerns a soldier or entrepreneur who has to travel a lot and is abroad. Somewhere far away.
- The other behaves like the prince on the white horse and showers you with compliments and expressions of love. Hard not to fall for that, and that’s exactly the point. In addition, your online love appears to have a lot in common with you. Also divorced, or lost someone… A typical trick to quickly develop an emotional bond.
- The other wants nothing more than to come to you, but for some reason he can’t get to his money. Whether you can afford it… Or he just had an accident and the hospital bill is due, but his credit cards are at home. Or he wants to send something valuable, but then you have to pay for the shipment…
In all these cases: don’t do it! Pay nothing!
Dating fraudsters operate not only on dating apps and sites, but also on Facebook, are extremely shrewd and kill hundreds of victims every year. And this is not about small amounts… the average damage is 30,000 euros!
Are you in doubt about your online love? Or that of a loved one? Don’t be ashamed, there’s no need for that, but talk about it. Call the Fraud Helpdesk: 088-7867372. Or look at fraudhelpdesk.nl†
This article appears in the new VROUW Magazine (every Saturday at De Telegraaf). As a premium member you can also read it online (sometimes earlier).