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The discussion about the abusive kiss by association president Luis Rubiales after the World Cup final is being shortened. It’s about abuse of power, says Nora Hespers.
There is much discussion about the kiss that the Spanish federation president Luis Rubiales presses on the mouth of world champion Jenni Hermoso as she celebrates winning the title. He holds her head tight. The pictures go around the world. Just like Hermoso’s statement in an Insta-Live from the cabin shortly after this action, where she was asked what she thought of it: “I didn’t like it,” she answers.
In the same video, another woman asks her why she didn’t fight back? Her answer: “What should I have done?” Yes, what should she have done? Rubiales, slap the head of the association in front of the world public? Would certainly have caused a big hello.
But she probably felt like many women in these situations: She was simply taken by surprise. Because actually, one might think, women should be safe from such attacks, especially in the limelight. But they are not. And that says a lot about what men consider “normal”, what they can afford – and women just can’t.
Long history of abuse and encroachment
Incidentally, what was missing in many articles at the beginning of the discussion was the classification of this encroachment by the Spanish association president in a larger context. Because at the latest since September 2022 there have been allegations against the coach of the Spanish women’s team: Jorge Vilda. In a joint statement last year, 15 (!) national players informed the association that Jorge Vilda’s training management was seriously affecting their mental health. There was evidence of abusive behavior, delusions of control, lack of workload management, and poor communication with the team.
The result of this push by the players was not that there was an investigation against the coach. On the contrary. The association’s response, which was sent to the 15 players as a copy-paste version, said: “The RFEF will not allow the players to question the continuity of the coach, as taking those decisions are not part of their role.” Put simply, the players should mind their own business. The continued employment of the trainer is not one of them.
This is a clearly authoritarian demonstration of power on the part of the association, whose president is now grabbing a player’s head on the world stage in front of everyone and kissing her.
Incidentally, of the 15 players who rebelled against the coach last September, only 3(!) were part of the World Cup team that has now won the title. And even during the tournament there are indications that the women of the Spanish team were assaulted, as Felix Haselsteiner (SZ) reports in the lawn radio podcast. Accordingly, Rubiales is said to have kissed two players without their consent after the semi-finals while they were talking to international journalists.
Peak Performance and Assaults
Now, as is always the case in such cases, it is once again being discussed whether it is all that bad. And the Spanish FA also said after the scandalous behavior of its president: “It was a very spontaneous mutual gesture because of the great joy of winning a World Cup.”
And Hermoso also gives in in a statement, reflecting the wording of the association. If you don’t want to see the clear power imbalance between the players and the association after the previous history, it’s difficult to get to grips with factual explanations. One might also wonder if Rubiales would have kissed a man the same way if he had won the title. And let me put it this way: hard to imagine. And yes, even then it would of course be a sexual assault if the player hadn’t wanted it. It is obvious.
The second argument, which is often used to sow doubts: But if it’s all so bad and psychologically stressful, then they couldn’t have shown this performance! Unfortunately, the argument has also been refuted numerous times. There are so many athletes who achieve top performances despite psychological and physical violence.
And the bad thing is that it is precisely for this reason that it is often not even noticeable in which situation they find themselves. Precisely because they continue to perform well, are in the limelight and shine there. The fact that this is possible has something to do with something inherent in sport that we rarely talk about: pain, crossing borders and the willingness to go through hell mentally too.
The glorification of pain and agony
All of this is considered normal in sport. Torturing oneself – and also being tormented – is part of the sport. Be it painful stretching exercises that bring tears to your eyes, be it sore muscles from hell that make a staircase appear like the boss the next day, be it falls, fractures, bruises or torn ligaments.
All of this is part of sport and for many simply part of it. We carry this pain before us like trophies. Behold: I have conquered myself. I’ve gone beyond my limits. I’m fit and mentally strong. That’s the part of sport we like to glorify.
The Tour de France, for example, is also such an event because everyone knows what anguish it means to drive up such mountains. What risk the drivers take on the rapid descents. Being able to torture yourself, discipline, overcoming your own limits – if necessary with the most crass training methods.
It is astonishing and frightening at the same time what people are willing to endure for their sport, for athletic performance. And it’s frighteningly normal how often physical and psychological abuse is a part of it. How big the problem is was first proven last year by a scientific study by the federal government under the direction of Bettina Rulofs from the German Sport University in Cologne.
Rulofs emphasizes the power imbalance and dependencies between athletes and those who look after them, be it trainers, medical staff or officials of clubs and associations, especially in competitive sports. Last but not least, this World Cup showed just how much of a structural problem this is.
So what to do?
First of all, we can all do something. For example, such attacks as they have flickered over millions of screens worldwide, understand them as such and also label them. Here a man in a position of power publicly coerced a woman into kissing her. And he did it because he knows full well that it won’t have any consequences for him. That he can feel safe.
Because a lot of people still think it’s “not that bad” and “just a kiss, you don’t have to make a drama out of it”. It’s not about the kiss. It’s about the power imbalance. And in this power imbalance, that kiss is an act of violence. If only because Hermoso’s head is held so tight that she can’t avoid it.
Second: self-reflection. How do we define sport? How do we define performance? The discussion about the allegedly abolished national youth games alone shows that in many minds, toughness and discipline still rank far ahead of fun and the joy of movement (fun fact: they weren’t abolished at all).
That attitude is part of the problem. The idea that we’re only productive when we’ve been through absolute hell. When we’ve broken through. When we’ve struggled through the pain. A form of torture that we sometimes have to be “persuaded” to do. Fortunately, modern sports pedagogy is already further along.
Third: There must also be a rethink in sports journalism – and fortunately there is already. Here, too, there is a need for more knowledge and awareness of power relations in sport, of the structures that encourage abuse and of the strategies used by the perpetrators. Because: The consequences of these attacks do not bear them. They carry the survivors of sexual, physical and psychological violence. And throughout her life.