It tickles many people. One in five employees changed jobs last year, says the UWV. But how do you know when it’s time to do something new? When do you stop and look for something better?
First this: quitting is not easy and not popular. We have a natural tendency towards consistency in our thinking and acting. And perseverance is usually socially valued more than giving up. That is why we often put off giving up something that you have invested time and energy in – a job, but also a task, responsibility or project.
That is not only wisdom from psychology, but also painful personal experience. I’ve finished a lot of useless projects in the past. A little help making smart quitting decisions is welcome.
Annie Duke is a psychologist, writer and former poker champion.
Her book was recently published Quit: The Power of Knowing When to Walk Away. Duke’s most important lesson: the moment you start something new, immediately make a list of signals that tell you to stop again. Your so-called kill criteria.
How? Imagine that your project or your job ‘fails’, how do you notice that? What would you think and feel at that moment? What would the people around you say or do? What would happen to you or those around you? Put these signals on your list.
In addition, you write down things that indicate that your project or job is moving in the right direction.
Then you grab your agenda. A list of criteria alone is not enough. You have to choose moments in advance when you evaluate. „A state and a date”, Duke says. A question that you can immediately write down for those days is this: “Would I make the same decision knowing what I know now?”
André Spicer is a professor of organizational behavior.
According to him there are all kinds of irrational ideas about perseverance and quitting. For example, the widespread belief that perseverance and perseverance leads to success is unjustified. A recent meta-analysis which Spicer cites on the subject of tenacity – “grit‘ – shows only a weak relationship with performance.
Spicer also points to studies that show that people who persevere in the face of reluctance and setbacks often miss better opportunities as a result. Or get yourself into a lot of trouble. Medical examination shows, for example, that continuing to work on goals that are actually unattainable can lead to chronic stress, high blood pressure and depression, among other things.
Good. I don’t like to give up too quickly. But stubborn persistence is often not smart either. Another thought from Duke that helps me. When deciding to stop doing something, we tend to turn our attention to the past. We look at the investment we’ve made. But it can be liberating to focus on the future. Every day that I stop earlier from work that doesn’t suit me or isn’t useful, I can spend from that moment on something worthwhile. Quitting is not only giving up something from the past, but also choosing a better future.
Ben Tiggelaar writes weekly about personal leadership, work and management.
A version of this article also appeared in the January 28, 2023 newspaper