Recently I noticed that you can also get tomato soup with meatballs at Albert Heijn. I don’t want to say it was an earth-shattering discovery, but if you’re only used to tomato soup without meatballs, you’ll be surprised.
I even nudged my wife. “We should definitely try that.” She didn’t respond with the same enthusiasm, but with a nod she let me know that she gave it to me. I studied the label to be sure and read that the balls were made from “cooked pork.” That too, I thought happily, though I would probably have bought them too if it had said “uncooked pork.”
To be clear: it was obvious that we spontaneously stocked up on that tomato soup at that moment because of those cooked meatballs. There was also “Grandma’s Tomato Soup” on the shelves, but it was without balls and besides, I unreasonably dislike any food with the word “Grandma” in the name as a compliment.
Once home we couldn’t wait to heat up the soup on the stove. It’s strange how easily life can brighten up at the prospect of a bunch of cooked meatballs. We poured the soup into our bowls and sat down at the table with great anticipation, keeping the alert cat, fond of meatballs, at a distance.
“If you’re short on meatballs, I’ll give you some too,” my wife offered, generous as she is by nature, especially when it comes to pork. “That won’t be necessary,” I said confidently.
We eagerly began to spoon. I had to think of the winged words of Harry Mulisch: “One cannot spoon soup with a fork.” That was another wisdom that Harry hadn’t needed Nietzsche or Freud to learn.
It must have been two or three minutes before we held the spoons still and asked each other: “Do you have all the balls?” There was a fraught silence.
Until then everyone had eaten one. We spooned anxiously through our bowls. “Herrr!” cried my wife, raising a shriveled half ball on her spoon.
Two and a half ball. That was our catch. You could say: that tasted like more, but those two and a half balls hadn’t been that good. You actually didn’t taste anything, but maybe that’s part of cooked pork.
Somewhat disappointed, I later looked up who Albert Heijn buys such meat from. In this case it turned out to be the butcher Hergo from Amstelveen, who supplies Albert Heijn under the flag of the quality brand Streeckgenoten. I imagined how a product like this would be discussed at Hergo/Albert Heijn.
“We have to trump the competition and promise meatballs with the tomato soup.”
“Well, but if we put a lot of meatballs in it, the soup will be too expensive.”
“What’s a lot?”
“Five or more.”
“Three, then?”
“Still too expensive. Two is better.”
“Very little.”
“Okay. We’ll add half.”
“But of cooked pork.”
“Naturally!”
A version of this article also appeared in the newspaper of April 5, 2023