Votes have been tampered with at the NS Audience Award, in such a way that the rubbish will not be awarded this year. All fingers point to candidate Thierry Baudet because people, who themselves knew nothing, turned out to have voted for his weird wappie booklet via their email address. But who’s to say that Thierry or hacking Harries from his splinter party did that? I dare not write that. Just out of fear that I’ll get that Gideon van Meijeren with a rotating camera at my door. Gideon is that drawling snake pup from Forum for Democracy. He is both the right and left hand of Baudet. Gideon harassed that SBS girl last week because she had said something that was correct, but turned out not to be in the Dikke Van Dale. And she had said so. So she was a sewer journalist. Gideon thought it was smelly in her hallway, while he must be used to some bad smells. It was his sad revenge because he had previously been mercilessly put on his number by the SBS girl. Tip for Gideon: Never react too quickly. Revenge should be eaten cold!
Am I really afraid of this Gideon gang? Of course not. I think it would be nice if the little lisp came to visit this sewer columnist. Then he can immediately meet my new security guard Glennis Grace. When I read in the newspaper what she did in that Jordanian Jumbo, I immediately asked her to protect me. I especially liked the technique of that ‘knee’. When she uses it against our Gideon, he doesn’t sing a tune lower, but rather higher.
I’m not going to spend too long with these reptiles. There is more going on in the world. For example, with Putin, who twists himself in all kinds of dirty turns, so that he can soon throw a dirty bomb on the neighbors. He thinks about the filling of that bomb for a while. He can choose from nuclear, biological or ordinary nerve gas. I’m afraid he has enough of all three in the house. Don’t know if after throwing the dirty bomb, Gideon dares to visit Vladimir and say that the hallway stinks. Not allowed by Thierry.
By the way, who is also really up to speed is our Sywert, who has recently shamelessly tweeted a tennis elbow as if nothing had ever happened. Or his Twitter account was hacked by some pranksters. The latter almost has to be. By the way, in his recent announcements, our mouth cap hero is goodness itself. For example, he asked if we would all like to transfer a small amount so that the family of a girl who died in a traffic accident could mourn. I did not verify that the bank account number mentioned in the Tweet was in Sywert’s name. I’m afraid so. Or do Bernd Damme and Camille van Gestel also get a bit of the proceeds?
He also congratulates the SP because that party stands up for people who earn less. He actually tweets it. Maybe that creepy Gideon with his little camera should visit him too. Not to interrogate him, but to escort him to an old-fashioned insane asylum. Small syringe and then met in a friendly ambulance. Maybe Van Meijeren can stay too. Or who knows, now that he’s cleaning up his fresh little company Twitter, Elon Musk wants to kick him out? Simply to protect him from himself. Sywert is a very heavy revolving door case.
Returning to the NS Audience Award: is it an idea to give it to Thierry after all, so that the child can no longer whine? And that Sywert then presents the prize to him. For example with Eva Jinek. And that we smear the jar with a good dollop of superglue? So that the gentlemen stick to it ruthlessly. At least the entire broadcast and as far as I’m concerned the rest of their earthly existence. Together through life, glued to a very easily manipulated, completely unimportant literary Mickey Mouse prize. I am so happy about that.
A version of this article also appeared in the newspaper of October 29, 2022