Understanding life. Who’s still doing it? If you believe in an omniscient creator, should you thank this god for the seven toddlers dragged from under the Turkish and Syrian rubble by rescuers? Or can you call God completely rotten in a furious prayer because he deliberately shook a hopeless piece of the world to rubble? More than twenty thousand dead. Not to mention the injured. I would understand if you, as a gullible person, left your house of prayer this weekend cursing. With a raised middle finger to the preacher on duty, who of course can’t help it either.
What do religious types usually say to this? What is God’s purpose in this kind of disaster? You better not get into that discussion. You are talking to a rubber beer quay and you always lose. You are bombarded with fairy tale book quotes, which should make it clear to you that a bountiful harvest is a gift from the Most High and that you should thank it for it. However, a natural disaster is your own fault, fat hump of sinful man.
Why an innocent toddler has to get a six-storey apartment building on his little head remains a question for everyone. After the flood it will undoubtedly be explained to us all. But maybe earlier. For example, if you are glowing and frolicking with some virgins in some afterlife after a successful attack.
When I saw the first images of the Syrian and Turkish earthquake damage, I thought nothing. Just nothing. At most: why there? Why not in my own Amsterdam canal belt? Or on a Scottish golf course where the directors of Shell and BP whisper softly to each other during the putt about their well-earned billions and the much-needed subsidies they are entitled to? Or why isn’t the Kremlin hit just as nicely? That saves a lot of Ukrainian deaths. Or Assad’s gaudy palace, which now seems to be blocking aid to certain groups of victims. The too capitalistic Dubai is also a reasonable option. Although? That’s sad for the innocent dogs of our Gordon, who is a bit down from all the criticism of his wonderful television programs. Or Qatar, where all those now completely pointless football stadiums still have to be demolished? Or the farms where pigs and chickens have been ruthlessly tortured for years? Those animals yearn for a mass euthanasia directed by God. Or the cancer-puking Tata Steel? Or that chemical 3M that has been poisoning the Scheldt for years. And I could go on and on for a few more columns. Why does the devil always shit where people have nothing. Only war and hunger.
Yesterday I saw a video of rescuers asking the rubble if anyone hears them? They shouted their impotent question to the debris. There was no answer. If that had happened, I could have heard it on my phone here in the Netherlands. We’re pretty, aren’t we?
At the same time I read about a drug bust near Leiderdorp. Found in a truck with relief supplies for the disaster area. Yes, if you do go that way, it is best to take a small package with you. If there’s one thing that needs it, it’s a strong snuff of comforting coke. Especially if you’ve been breathing in all that grit for days.
A benefit of the Syrian and Turkish mess? There is nothing for anyone to inherit. Enjoy the filthy rich Des Bouvrie and Hazes families, who are entertaining us these weeks with their lawsuits because the wills of the dead dads are interpreted differently. Or because it was messed with at the last minute. Wonderful news.
Another benefit? No dirty lies can be projected onto those houses by Nazi skulduggers. Laser on. There is also another advantage for the extreme right. Those victims can no longer come our way. Because they’re dead. In short: cancel the wall around Europe. This is an insurmountable blow for the barbed wire industry. Understanding life. Who’s still doing it?
A version of this article also appeared in the newspaper of February 11, 2023