On Thursday evening there was a gentleman from Bloemendaal on TV who tried to explain that they are willing to take in refugees in their reserve, but that those wretches have to meet certain criteria. As? No young people, but dull couples and preferably couples with a Tesla, a golf proficiency certificate and a playful labradoodle in an electric cargo bike. Then there is no objection. In fact, they wanted more than 30. Maybe 35.
The man carefully lumbered himself into his own swampy quagmire of argument, but at the end looked triumphant as if he had won the tame argument gloriously. I like that kind of people who, shining with happiness, fall into their own graves. I think the whole village is like that. I fear that afterwards he is overloaded with many congratulatory messages from happy villagers.
Not much later, a perfectly reasonable mayor reported that refugees are simply coming, although a few fossil residents may try to stop their arrival through the courts. They are going to invoke a law from the time when our royal house plundered, murdered and drove slaves to empty our colonies. There are undoubtedly lawyers who find that a nice liberal job and like to put their implants in it.
But take it from me: within two months the refugees will be mowing the Bloemendaal lawns, walking the dogs twice a day and chalking the lines at all seven hockey clubs in the village. I also do not rule out a fiery relationship between a divorced Botox bitch and a virile Tunisian twenty years younger. Maybe that will become a trend. That you have a Ghanaian toyboy in addition to your busy businessman, who is never at home anyway.
Forced labor and whipping resulting in death were not chosen
But now that story of that royal family of ours. Is anyone surprised that Willy’s ancestors robbed like that? Oh no. And nobody blames him for that. I understand that he is going to apologize on July 1. My tip is that he takes a little time for that. And that he practices well so that he does not look like a joker again in 2020 in Indonesia. And maybe it would be nice if he paid back some family capital. To who? That is the problem. No one knows to whom, so we don’t do it. But he shouldn’t be surprised when his youngest daughter Ariane tells her father one day that the steering wheel of the speedboat is sticking. And that he then has to explain to her that it is because the boat was paid for with old money. And that’s what it’s all about.
Funny again that we sent Jan Peter to Berlusconi’s funeral this week. I saw him scribbling in that funeral register. Something about Silvio’s VOC mentality? It was one of Balkenende’s hobbyhorses. In 2006 he started about this against Femke Halsema. He knew there were objections to that mentality, too. The forced labor and the lashes that resulted in death were not delicate, but our former CDA prime minister also thought it was nice to grab such a colony empty.
It’s great that it all comes together now. The VOC, the colonies, the trade of our royal house. They were even deep in opium. Maybe Masmeijer will get a ribbon after all. And Taghi pardon.
Will Jan Peter have understood the bishop on duty in the Duomo of Milan? Did the cleric mention Berlusconi’s infamous bunga-bunga parties? About the thirteen-year-old girls? Or had the bishop forgotten? Perhaps he had a girls’ choir sing for Silvio’s friends as a sweet memory.
Everything falls together. VOC, Balkenende and Halsema. This week Femke threatened to close the Amsterdam Student Corps if they did not make a certain investigation public.
If she does, Bloemendaal will really revolt and that municipality, together with Overveen and Aerdenhout, will become the separate republic of Bloomingdale. And who will lead that enclave? Boris Johnson of course. Boris for President.
A version of this article also appeared in the June 17, 2023 newspaper.