Cyril Ramaphosa is the President of South Africa. But not for long. Because? Mister has done shady business and had $ 580,000 in cash hidden in a couch. FIFA has already offered him a board position. The president couldn’t explain how he got that money. If I were him I would have said that I had sold a second-hand dirt bike to the boss of the Jumbo. That is the Brabant tout who has been keeping the Dutch sports world going for years.
$580,000! Of course it could also have been ‘old money’. Blatter notes from 2010. When the reliable Swiss Sepp, Infantino’s predecessor, scattered millions there to get the World Cup in that country. Sepp didn’t just hand out then. He also received. Just like his right hand Platini. These types of cheaters make football so much fun.
Football matches are not only played on the field, but also in the boardrooms. There’s a lot going on there. Without VA.
Whether Japan’s victory over Spain has also been cooked up there? No, that just happened in the locker room. It was a convenient way for Spain to get rid of the Germans. Of course I gambled on this with my common sense and stored the fortune I earned nice and safe in my couch.
What am I going to do with the money? I bought a ticket for the party of the VVD, which will soon be 75 years old. They celebrate in the DeLaMar theater. I took the most expensive ticket. Then you are also entitled to one in addition to the entire party program Meet & Greet with Mark and Sophia. I can not wait. What does this meeting cost? 7,500 euros! Black? No, official price of the lot. This category has since been removed from the site, but fortunately I was there just in time.
I also hope to meet the great Conny Helder at that party. Then I can compliment her on her magisterial performance last week in Qatar. She did not shy away from confronting the powerful turbans of the host country. Okay, she wasn’t wearing any OneLoveband, but a tiny refined pin, which she had very cleverly hidden under a large shawl with bold letters Nevermind was printed on. What did she mean by that? That all LGBTQIA+ people there in Qatar can drop dead as far as she is concerned? I don’t think so, but she wanted to reassure the emir and his friends. She herself has said that it is a misunderstanding and that she fully supports the gay community. That she was wearing her husband’s boxer shorts under her clothes as a silent protest. Beautiful subtle statement towards the lesbians.
Meanwhile, the authorities in Doha have completely released all forms of protest from now on. Our Conny’s pin certainly contributed to that and I hope to be able to tell her that at the VVD party. Maybe for free. Or will that also cost a few thousand euros?
Whether the Netherlands will go one round further? I’m afraid not. Or Louis has to let the Holy Spirit descend on the team through the air conditioning. And who are we going to send? After Conny’s success? Mark & Sophia? Or are they too expensive? Lex & Max? Or is it still too early for that? I would send Hugo & Sywert. They still have some things to do with each other and they can do that nicely on a business trip. This week I understood that the two race CDA members have not yet completely coordinated their lies. They have plenty of time for that in that hot desert. And it seems like a nice image: Sywert and the emir in the grandstand. That could be a picture from a Tintin. Chatting about black couches.
Who should become world champion? I hope Morocco. Why? I need to get rid of an old car that no one wants to buy. I have now parked it on Amsterdam’s Mercatorplein.
Insurance covers the damage.
A version of this article also appeared in the December 3, 2022 newspaper