Clarissa Burt: “Now I teach you how to build self-esteem”

“Tranvate “. “Pinco pallina”. “Lecchina”. Clarissa Burt he has not lived in Italy since 2005, but he does not forget certain peculiarities of the lexicon either. “I’ve lived here for almost thirty years,” she explains in a pause from presentation tour of Redefine your self-esteem (The perfect action plan for becoming the self-confident person you are meant to be)just published by Eifis Editore. The former American supermodel, star of films such as Caruso Pascoski (of a Polish father) And The Neverending Story IIis today the managing director of In the Limelight Mediaa multimedia platform dedicated to female empowerment, as well as spokesperson for the association Domestic Shelterswhich in the United States deals with foster homes for abused women.

A violent father

“I have wanted to write this book for a long time, because one of our most devious enemies is the sense of inadequacy. And, if you don’t have a good relationship with yourself, you won’t have a good relationship with anyone in life. ” Hard to believe he speaks from personal experience. Nevertheless…

“I grew up in Philadelphia in a very Catholic, very Irish and very… violent house: my father drank a lot. I saw him always angry and his mother always unhappy: she was 18 when I was born and endured this toxic marriage for more than twenty years. What a pain for her to see her very young, with three children, abused by this monster … she did not like herself: “Don’t take a picture of me because I look bad, I look fatter”. And what have I done in my life? The model! Dad, Irish, spoke with contempt of Italians in the United States and where did I move? In Italy!” (laughs)“.

“Nuti and Troisi”

And in our country things have started to turn: covers of fashion magazines, prestigious advertisements, television… «Not completely. Along the way you think you have found people who love you and instead you encounter jealousies, wickedness, betrayals in love – these are the tramlines that often come to us in life. I was lucky enough to work with the most beautiful women in the world, but in many of them I saw suffering: drugs, alcohol, bad relationships … I was wondering: what is the connection between mom in Philadelphia and these divine creatures on the runways? Obviously the answer was: lack of “happy” self-esteem. Something that also concerned me: at 26 I had my first depression, which lasted two, painful ».
Linked to any specific event? «Well… Maybe the crumbling of the family (my parents had finally divorced), being alone on the other side of the ocean. Relationships that inevitably ended in betrayal…. Yes, including those with Francesco Nuti and Massimo Troisi. I couldn’t understand: “Why, they tell me that I am one of the most desired women in Italy, I am with you and you put the horns on me? You wanted to marry me, your parents adored me … And I concluded: I’m not enough ».

“The healing path”

Did it also have something to do with the fact that, as a showgirl in the Eighties, she felt objectified? “No, actually. I only did what I wanted to do, never accepted a compromise. Friends comment: “Clari ‘, the men were in awe of you!”. They had respect for me, rather! It is up to us to teach others every day how we want to be treated, to set boundaries ».
How did she come out of the dark? With the help of psychoanalysis? «By robbing the“ self help, personal growth ”department of bookstores. I was hungry to learn how to be a better person than I was taught at home. A dip in the ocean: text by text, then documentary by documentary, course on course for self-strengthening. It was fundamental Think and enrich yourself from Napoleon Hilla forerunner: in 1937 – on behalf of the industrialist and philanthropist Andrew Carnegie – interviewed over 500 successful men (from Thomas Edison to Theodore Roosevelt), to understand the formula for success. In a nutshell, the golden rule is this: give and do for others what you would like them to do for you. From there he had the intuition of the Master Mind, to create a group of people who come together to exchange resources and help each other grow. I myself have a Master Mind today, a think tank of 22 women, we meet every two weeks ».

“Starting from scratch”

No, no: don’t run. When did she feel stronger? “Around 40 I started to no longer suffer from depression, from anxiety. It was the start of a new path as a producer, but at 47, 48 years old I decided to leave Rome, even if it was a safe shell. In America the family was growing, my sister had had four children and I didn’t see them growing up; my grandmother Clarissa – my soul mate – was getting old … I’m back: a challenge with myself because I was not known in the United States, when I moved to Phoenix, Arizona I didn’t even know the neighbors … reinventing from zero to nearly 50 years. I couldn’t count on beauty or my name. I could count on some savings from the Italian years, having worked hard and well. I took a decade of reflection and skill accumulation to lay the foundations for my multimedia platform. Now, at 63, the old dream: the publication of Redefine your self-esteem“.

5 golden rules

What are the basic suggestions it gives in the manual? “Number 1 (trivial, but to scream a thousand times): never compare yourself to someone else. Don’t look at social media, live your life and go your own way. Number 2: write write write. Keep a diary: put down everything that goes through your head, partly so that you can get rid of it, partly because – rereading it after some time – you will see how much progress you have made. And you will be heartened. In third place I would put the “mirror theory”, which was certainly not discovered by me but it turns out to be an exercise of great impact: look into your eyes, tell yourself that you love and thank you, and that you forgive yourself if you may not have been one hundred percent. I know that with these statements at the beginning you feel ridiculous or embarrassed or strange, you can even cry…. Hurray, nice that emotions gush out ».

Number 4 and number 5? “Be careful who you are around you, surround yourself only with people who want your good: your friends must be your cheerleaders, always there to applaud you and push you forward. They are few? Patience! And remember reciprocity: friendships must be nurtured and treated with care. Finally: stick to your principles. Mine are summarized in the acronym HIGH: honesty, integrity, gratitude, honor. I’m far from perfect, but every day I try to be better than the day before ».

Love today

It is not the only acronym he invented. There is FEARfear, which stands for: “Face anything and laughed“, Face everything (even if it is uncomfortable, even if it hurts, even if you are afraid) and grow up. And if you happen to fail, to fail? FAIL is “first attempt in learning“, First approach in learning. “In the United States we have another saying that I share:”worrying is praying for what you don’t want ”, worrying is praying for what you DON’T want. The subconscious must be supervised because the energies you emanate are those that come back… ».

Is she also pacified in love today? “For a decade I was closed, I didn’t even see men. Then I had a nine-month story that ended a year ago: I was very busy with this gentleman, unfortunately he wasn’t there 100 per thousand. I’ve written a book on self-esteem, I certainly can’t stay in a relationship where I don’t feel important enough! I cut, I suffered a lot but I was loyal to myself. Now I feel that the right person is approaching ».

iO Donna © REPRODUCTION RESERVED

The article Clarissa Burt: “Now I teach you how to build self-esteem” seems to be the first on iO Donna.

ttn-13