She always felt different, but only after 44 years does she understand why. Cindy Laros (47) from Roosendaal only discovered at a late age that she has autism. On World Autism Day she tells her story: “I’m very sorry that I only now know this.”
Cindy was abused outside the home in her childhood. She doesn’t want to say anything more about that. She went into therapy for this in 2017. During her treatments, the care providers noticed that there was more to it. “You just trust them, therapists keep changing jobs. That was quite a struggle.” It was only after ten care providers and three years later that the redeeming diagnosis was made: autism.
“At first I was very happy. Now we will solve it: it will pass”, was her thought after the late diagnosis. “Then came the frustration that this is not possible at all. It will never go away.”
In all the years before, she had never thought about autism. “I felt lonely, but I didn’t understand why.” Neither does her environment. “An annoying teacher often shouted: you have to look at people when you talk, you will get into problems with that later.” On assessments of her work, she heard that she was not social. That was it. “Don’t be so difficult”, or “Everyone is a bit autistic”, she often heard from others.
“That way it can stay hidden.”
According to her autism coach, Cindy is certainly no exception. “I often see that a diagnosis is made late, especially in women,” says Esther Oomen of the practice Feeling good with autism in Best. “They show socially desirable behavior and adapt as much as possible. That way it can remain hidden.”
“I’ve been running into all of this all my life. I’m very sorry that I only know this at a late age,” says Cindy. “My dream job was to work with young people who are difficult to educate, maybe with the right coaching that would have been possible in the past.”
De Roosendaalse now works as a warehouse employee at DSV Moerdijk. After being at home for 1.5 years, working is possible again with adjustments. For example, she has fixed times, she does not have to work on Saturdays and she can skip overtime. She also now has sessions with her coach Esther.
Cindy hopes to inspire others with her story. “I hope that people who doubt whether they have autism will go to their GP. That they will dare to take the step.”
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