Small talk is dismissed by many as an unnecessary waste of time. Researchers at Harvard Business School have investigated how to ensure that even short conversations leave a positive impression.
Small talk is inevitable and can be useful
The usual small talk in the professional environment is often about a superficial exchange, which at most serves to make casual encounters in the coffee kitchen more pleasant. Small talk is inevitable and occurs to some degree in almost every professional setting. Researchers at Warwick University have already shown that the topic of small talk, which is unwelcome for many, is of great relevance, especially in the professional environment. They have found that small talk leads to people being perceived as more extroverted and social, which has a number of benefits. In particular, small talk allows people to get a better idea of their counterpart’s personality, which in turn influences future interactions between them. So the question arises as to how small talk can be designed in such a way that a short conversation is not just about the usual exchange of platitudes, but also leaves the interlocutor with a good feeling. Researchers from the renowned Harvard Business School investigated this question in a study.
Asking questions is especially important
Two researchers from the Harvard Business School Chair in Negotiation, Organizations, and Markets, Alison Wood Brooks and Francesca Gino, analyzed over 300 online dating conversations and found that there is a clear relationship between asking questions of the interviewer and liking the interviewer is to be determined. The more questions were asked of the interlocutor, the more the questioners were liked. The main reason for this lies in the assessment of the responsiveness of the interlocutor: “If people […] As they ask more questions, they are perceived as more responsive, an interpersonal construct that captures listening, understanding, affirmation, and caring.” In addition to analyzing online conversations, physical speed-dating conversations were also examined. The results support the online findings. Speed daters who ask more questions are more likely to get their conversation partner’s approval to meet again, which can be taken as an indicator of sympathy.
More tactics for meaningful small talk
Building on this science, CEO of talent management consultancy Korn/Ferry Gary Burnison, in an article for CNBC, suggests a number of tactics for making small talk that matter: care about yourself. Building on this, you should observe your surroundings very closely and possibly respond to objects that give you the opportunity to ask specific questions of the interlocutor. Another principle, according to Burnison, is to share personal news, such as a new pet. Another tip is to speak as early as possible in a meeting or in larger discussion groups. If you wait too long, the other colleagues take over the conversation and the opportunity is missed. In addition to the content of the conversation, non-verbal communication through body language and facial expressions sometimes says more than a thousand words. Therefore, you should make sure to maintain eye contact and smile as much as possible.
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