When treating eating disorders, practitioners mainly see women. However, binge eating disorder is increasingly being diagnosed, and the proportion of men in this disorder is greater than for more classic eating disorders. The binge eating disorder often remains underexposed because the symptoms are not easily placed with the eating disorder phenomenon: binge eating actually causes weight gain instead of weight loss. Theo Pieterse has lived with the disorder for more than twenty years, but has only known this for a few years. Expert Bernou Melisse is worried: “Due to too little knowledge and recognition, more and more men remain untreated.”
Theo Pieterse (75) kicked his addiction about twenty years ago: “I have an alcohol and drug history. I think I already suffered from binge eating during that period, but I didn’t realize that at the time.” It was only when he got rid of that addiction that he noticed the short-term overeating: “There was a void that had to be filled. That happened literally by eating.” He can now live with his eating disorder, he himself also speaks of an addiction: “Recovered, not cured. I can deal with it.”
The disorder has only been in the manual for mental disorders since 2015, “so it has only been officially diagnosed since that year,” says researcher and psychologist Bernou Melisse. “The disorder is characterized by recurrent binge eating in which a person loses control.” In more classic eating disorders such as anorexia nervosa or bulimia nervosa, about ten percent of people are male, while in binge eating disorder this is one third.
“You feel powerless. ‘Why am I such a weakling, why can’t I do this?’ I didn’t see any solution”
Theo’s eating disorder mainly strikes after dinner. “Then it is very quiet and you are alone. Then the disorder took over.” He ate a lot of fatty and sweet food at such a time, “from cheese to ice cream and pies. Everything I had on hand had to be eaten.”
‘You disgust yourself’
According to Melisse, the difference with people without a disorder who sometimes eat too much is sometimes difficult to see for the outside world: “But the difference is that with a disorder you have this regularly and you lose control. After eating a bag of chips and a bar chocolate makes you feel bad, you feel unhappy. You disgust yourself, but next time you can’t hold it back.” Theo felt powerless: “Why am I such a weakling, why can’t I do this?”
Theo didn’t ring the bell for a long time. But it’s easy to disguise, he found. With anorexia nervosa, for example, you see people getting thinner and thinner and therefore your environment also notices it faster. “But especially as a man it is more accepted to be a bit fatter. They saw me as a real Burgundian, a pleasantly plump person. And of course my own pride and shame don’t help either. An eating disorder still feels like a women’s disease.”
But when his pulmonologist said during a checkup that it really couldn’t go on and that his health was really in danger, Theo sought help: “It was the first authority to say this.” Losing weight didn’t help. “Then I went to a dietician, I was the best boy in the class and I was at a healthy weight within two weeks. But that was not sustainable, the disorder won time and time again when I finished dieting again.”
“There is a big gap between the number of treated men and the number of sick men”
And that is exactly the problem according to Melissa. Several experts NH Nieuws spoke to say they recognize the increase in binge eating patients. But according to all, treatment is still a difficult aspect.
“Embarrassment aside, there is far too little knowledge about the disorder. It is a recently discovered condition, but it is one with more sufferers than any other eating disorder. As a result, more and more people, and therefore men, are disorder. If the treatments are left behind, there will be a large gap between the number of treated men and the number of sick men. In this way, fewer people can recover well.”
Shopping lists and an empty fridge
Theo has recovered, but continues to emphasize that healing is not possible according to him. Together with NH Nieuws, he goes shopping in his regular supermarket to show how he does it now and how things went about ten years ago, for example. “As soon as you enter the temptation starts. Cakes, nuts, biscuits and cheese. I need a shopping list with what I need that day. I can’t buy more, in case I get a weak moment.”
“That help is so important to solve your problem”
Because Theo sometimes has a relapse: “If I lose control in the supermarket for a moment, I will have a lot of fatty food in my basket again. And then it won’t go out.” That’s why his fridge is almost empty. “When I’m hungry, I eat a dry cracker. That feels terrible at such a moment, but afterwards I’m happy that I managed not to grab unhealthy food.”
“It is important to see that there are also many men with an eating disorder. And that if you are worried, you should seek help. Because that help is so important to solve your problems. Melisse puts the focus in her treatments include seeing a different self-image and knowing where things go wrong.”We need to talk and listen more, and take someone’s feeling and problem seriously. You can live with it, but then you have to be forwarded first.”
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