To put it bluntly: we think they are stupid and conniving, they think we are too direct and arrogant. Dutch and Belgians do not understand each other. Cultural differences make living together in a border village like Putte difficult. “It is an illusion that Belgians will ever integrate into Brabant,” says expert Evert van Wijk, who studied the differences between the Netherlands and Belgium.
“To get straight to the point: Belgians generally don’t like the Dutch, but the Ollanders also say that about themselves,” says Van Wijk. “They often behave like people who always know best.”
It is precisely this dominant attitude of the Dutch that goes down the wrong way with the Belgians. “Although you won’t immediately notice that,” says Van Wijk. “A Flemish person is much more reserved. He doesn’t immediately say ‘hey, stop with that arrogant stuff’. No, he thinks his own way and makes his own plans when the Dutchman is gone.”
“No two countries are so different.”
Van Wijk, Dutch and married to a Flemish woman, lived in Belgium for thirty years. Through trial and error he became wise. He wrote two books about the relationship between the Dutch and Belgians and the cultural pitfalls he himself fell into and regularly holds training courses.
According to Van Wijk, there are no two countries in Europe that border each other and are as different as the Netherlands and Belgium. “Take the know-us mentality of the Belgians. They prefer to live near their friends and family. As a Dutch person, you hardly get involved in that.”
“In Putte you see that Belgians buy a house where they actually only spend the night. They work in Flanders, the children go to school there and they also have their hobbies in Belgium. That won’t change.”
“Otherwise your head will be cut off.”
And then there is the enormous suspicion among Flemish people. “Distrust is in the genes of Belgians,” Van Wijk continues. “There is a saying in Belgium that goes: As a Ollander hasn’t cheated on you, then he has forgotten you. Well if you say that about each other, you know you have a big problem.
The behavior of the Belgians can be explained if we look at history. “While the Netherlands was a free nation, Belgium was dominated for a long time. Then it is not surprising that you say ‘yes’ when you mean ‘no’. Otherwise your head will be cut off.”
We may still speak more or less the same language, but things often go wrong there too. Van Wijk: “Make an appointment with the Belgian in the morning. For us this is at the beginning of the afternoon, for the Flemish in the morning.”
“It’s just bad to be different.”
Border village of Putte: one place, two countries. Only border marker 257 still reminds of the time of barriers and customs officers. But the wall between the Belgians and the Dutch will always remain, according to Van Wijk.
Yet we Brabanders can make a gesture in the right direction. “First stop trying to solve the cultural difference,” says Van Wijk. “Just learn a little about the Belgians. It’s okay to be different. That’s just beautiful.”
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