F.to yoga nature view at 6 am, never skips the vegan juice daily, apply shelves of beauty products, supplements as if it rainedand, it gives away minimal two massages per week, recharge your energies with i crystals and acupuncture, says no to botox but yes to regenerative aesthetics. Of course he is happy, has a wonderful career, a loving family, a plethora of followers and no analysts. She also seems kind, pretty, nice, friendly, deserving, prepared.
In English they call her “that girl”, “that over there”: not she is a precise she, but the dazzling image of feminine perfection made to person who is everywhere, today, on social networks.
Self-care: the “that girl” phenomenon
This she exists, in an undefined reality, she has a thousand and one faces of Hollywood and Instagram and is enough for making many women in the world feel “not enough”. Because the question that she does not ask directly, but raises, is: and you, what do you do for yourself?
And you, are you doing enough for yourself?
The hashtag #thatgirl circulates on social media, silently, like a counter-revolution. Tells digitally, the common discomfort of those who feel like they have to, but can’t, of being like “her”, queen of the self care.
Fruit of the culture of the ifor productivity and hyper-performance, even self-reported: we should do more, spend our time better, care more, be better.
The journalist of the The New Yorker Jia Tolentino, author of “Trick Mirror: The illusions we believe in and the ones we tell ourselves“, He explains:“ that girl identifies beauty and well-being with performance and vice versa. Inertia is evil ».
There is a positive side: «Everyone knows that social media is a fiction, yet this prevails exhibiting self care ends up motivating many women to really want to become the best version of themselves, in real life ».
The problem is «that some women end up with you only feel fulfilled by reaching standards that actually knock them down, precisely because they are in fact unsustainable. Self-care turns into a continuous run-up, when it should be the source of comfort, energy, growth “.
Ideally, the pandemic should have helped us stop and ask ourselvesi what it really means to be your “best version” of yourself. “That girl” remembers that instead much of the construction of the self begins by seeing and imitating others, chasing goals.
How to start doing something for yourself (really)
21 days. That’s what it takes because the good healthy purpose of taking care of yourself more, doing something for yourself and feeling better, seeing yourself more beautiful, actually become reality.
The first to theorize the 21 day theory was the surgeon Maxwell Maltz, in Psycho-Cybernetics (1960): it almost always took that length of time for his patients to accept body changes, the results of any type of surgery. This would also apply for any other habit, including that of engaging in a more careful beauty routine, calibrated, or make a new physical activity a truly unmissable appointment.
So: “You have to live consciously for about 4 weeks, deliberately focusing on the changes you wish to make. After the 4 weeks are up, only one should be needed little effort to support him »writes the doctor.
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