Barbora Bobulova: «The traditional family is no longer the only option»

“Luca Trapanese is the guy who could move mountains.” Barbora Bobulova met the man whose story inspired the film of which she is also a part, Born for youdirected by Fabio Mollo, in theaters on October 5th. And he thinks his story should be studied in school.

Seven traditional families had refused the adoption of Alba, a little girl with Down syndrome abandoned at birth. Trapanese, with a long experience of working in the social sector and with people with disabilities, kept knocking on that door. Without result. The judge in charge of the case, Bobulova in the film, responded as the institutions respond: «Let’s try a family made up of a mother and a father».

Italy, on rights, is not Sweden

Trapanese – who told the midwife who looked after Alba “I’m single and gay” – was told: “We’re not in Sweden.” Yet in this very un-Scandinavian Italy his obstinacy was rewarded. Since 2018, Trapanese has been Alba’s father, to whom he was able to give his surnameis very active on social media, goes on TV (at Mara Venier) and writes letters to the Prime Minister.

Barbora Bobulova, returning from an August in Rome («This thing about having to go on holiday in mid-August makes me anxious, Rome in the summer is beautiful, I enjoyed it in silence and deserted. And then there are the cinemas open and there is much to explore”), between summer arenas and streaming, says he has discovered the world of documentaries: «They are beautiful! I saw the one about Alessia Zecchini ( The Deepest Breath, ed ), freediver who dives to the ocean floor. And also the one about Arnold Schwarzenegger. I like them biographies and extreme storiesI want to see how far human beings can go.”

Also in Born for you there is something extreme.
Yes, it almost seems like fiction, but Luca Trapanese is very real. Yet there will be someone who, watching the film, will say: “These things only happen in films”. What struck me about him is that he is almost… a missionary. I’m not a believer, but he made me think of those individuals possessed by a superhuman strength that pushes them until they reach their goal. He has climbed inaccessible peaks… Yes, in recent days I also saw a documentary on Nepal. It’s good for society to be able to count on people like him, capable of moving the limit. But it seems to me that he prefers to glorify mediocre characters instead. With the result that young people today look at mediocrity as a goal to be achieved.

Do you know people who have adopted?
I have many friends who have chosen adoption. It is a gesture of great generosity. I’ve always wondered if I would be able to do something like this. Maybe not, I’m honest, I wouldn’t be capable of such a grand gesture.

Are they “traditional” families?
They are, as my character says in the film, “made up of a mother and a father”. I am of the opinion that stubbornly fighting for the maintenance of this traditional model no longer makes much sense. I was a fan of Michela Murgia, I believe she contributed to changing the language on these issues. Nobody denies the traditional family, but today it is no longer the only option. Also because the traditional family has often created monsters. Do we need to work on new concepts? In schools we should also talk about this, tell the stories of these characters who are contemporary to us, Murgia, Trapanese, who have fought battles to take into account, from which there is no turning back.

The queer family, as extended as possible

How do you see the queer family? Reserved for strong personalities, such as artists, or an option for everyone?
I come from a traditional family, and it is no coincidence that I ran away very far away (from Slovakia, ed) and from home. Here I created my own family, which is not traditional. I live with my daughters, I have never married because I don’t think marriage is a pact to be sealed a priori, but we lived together with my ex. But I wasn’t happy, going forward “just for the children” like many do seemed dishonest to me. And precisely for the children: they are given a false idea of ​​union. So we separated, but we see each other very often, ours is an extended family and my dream is to grow old by expanding it even more, with my ex’s girlfriend, with my future partner, if he arrives. Everyone must work to create a world in which they feel good.

A beautiful and also achievable dream. Do you see possible friction? Not all of us are willing to welcome everyone…
Difficulties don’t scare me, I’m combative, I’m not afraid, you just need to demonstrate that the idea you believe in works and others will follow you. We must try to put people in front of what until yesterday was considered a utopia, and which today is realized, question our certainties, open ourselves to new possibilities.

Just be convincing, he says…
We actors are very good at this, working on ideas as we work on characters. By having to identify with complete strangers we can try to understand what goes on in other people’s heads. I also do it with my 16 year old daughter and maybe I can do it… It’s a useful exercise, even those who lead this country should try it: put themselves in the other person’s shoes.

It would be interesting to see them go back to their 16 years.
When I was a teenager I had no time to waste. If cell phones had existed I wouldn’t have even looked at them. I had the choir, sports training, drawing…

Growing up under the umbrella of the USSR was like that. Instead in the USA… A film from ’96, The First Wives Club, contained a famous joke. Goldie Hawn, who played an actress no longer very young, said: «In Hollywood there are only three ages: doll, solicitor and Walking with Daisy».
(laughs) I am in the solicitor phase (in addition to the judge of Born for youwill be the divorce lawyer in the second season of Studio Battaglia for Rai 1, ed ), waiting to start ad Walking with Daisy, and frankly I can’t wait… It’s a great line. You say that we women, compared to our colleagues, are penalized. If you look at the best Italian films of recent years they are all male, The Traitor, Eight Mountains …

And six films by male directors at the latest Venice Film Festival: a world without women.
Male-only films, I see very few women in the casts, it’s not good. Why can’t we write women’s stories here in Italy? During this period I looked back at old films: I thought back to the period in which women were muses for directors, to the prominence Fellini gave to women. Perhaps the changes that have taken place in society, the emancipation, which is certainly necessary, have meant that men have lost their attraction. Feminism has robbed us of our role as muses.

It wouldn’t be serious if the muses became the protagonists. Isn’t that what feminism is looking for? A space more coherent with the progress of history.
Women were a source of inspiration for directors, now they are only for female directors: Emma Dante with The Macaluso sisters she made a beautiful film, Valeria Golino, Susanna Nicchiarelli tell stories of women, Lyda Patitucci’s first work, Like sheep among wolves, with Isabella Ragonese, which I just saw, is not bad. But I always have the impression that these films are less supported than films with male protagonists.

After 25 years spent here, how do you look at us?
When I came to Italy, I was twenty years old and blonde with blue eyes. I was used to, in my country, going unnoticed even if I went out in a miniskirt: no one cared about me. In Italy for the first time I felt male gazes on me, as if they were giving me an x-ray. Now after some time I have tried to understand, also thinking about my daughters: I believe that here men feel they have the right to be so shameless, in Northern Europe they are more discreet. Where does this arrogance come from? And the whistles too?

Half an hour passes and a WhatsApp lands on my mobile phone: «I think that mothers could give a hand to today’s male: less devotion and every now and then a few “No”s!».

But did his mother say “no”?
«He said it and says it, yes. But my mother is a rare pearl.”

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