ANDster, bye.
My case history in short is that I am a 40 year old doctorwith, now, a beautiful family and a little girl, I too prepared Rocci in the evening with the protocols in my backpack, I had to face a tragic family loss and I have already suffered the sufferable.
Well, with all this existential concreteness, despite having read “Felici i Felici”, eaten fried anchovies by the sea and, just to not get distracted, thought back to the ending of Anna Karenina and also that of Madame Bovary, I still have some accounts that don’t add up. A few years ago I was stunned by a GAS, belonging to a beautiful and very sexy creature, who obviously made me heartbroken and then she peacefully returned to her standard of being a super-wow boyfriend, and me working 11 hours a day.
Bad Relationships
The question is: what remains? It’s been a while, I’m safe and have a colorful reality of my own, though Sometimes I miss knowing how he is. Out of personal dignity, I stopped looking for him first (which I did in the very early days), I’m not on social media and I know absolutely nothing about him anymore, but since I still love him on a human level, I sometimes wonder how things are going for him , if he then became a father and if he finally made the dreams we told each other come true. And I have that precise pain that comes from realizing that for someone you are worth nothing, and perhaps not even much before, because otherwise the ground floor of human closeness would have remained. It’s not having lost the GAS, it’s not having built anything with the person.
You’ve got the wrong person, you’ll say. In fact, various considerations follow on the fact that I wasn’t compatiblethat I wasn’t enough, and why, and how his girlfriend or wife today will undoubtedly be stratospheric, and why we never understand why they didn’t want us.
Why didn’t he want me?
You never completely forget the amazement suffering of being rejected by someone to whom one had offered the best part of oneself? Where does all that beautiful part of us to which they answered “no, thanks” go, if not even the human thread remains between two individuals who had their hearts close to them? What a loss budget. Finally, among the (many) things I still don’t know: what happens in the Hyperuranium? Whoever marries GAS, what happens to him? The beautiful-and-impossible, when they also truly fall in love, are they besieged by real life even if they are an Armani model and a sex bomb? Does their love also crumble in front of supermarket bags on Sunday afternoon? I suppose so, obviously, but since I only know my real life, which isn’t joking, I honestly wouldn’t swear to it.
Sorry for the verbosity, you will find that I have discovered hot water.
A heartly hug.
Ester Viola’s response
Dear N.,
How many deaths did the equivalence bring to the Achaeans: He doesn’t want me – therefore I am nothing.
While others yearned around us, those we didn’t want. Very much in love, who knows what they saw in us wrecks. As evident to the doctor (you), the matter is subjective.
The truth is that people, for the most part, are normal. Sometimes we are heavy weights, other times pleasant, on certain evenings great entertainers.
Because sex is more intense
The difference in character – and therefore the gain in irresistibility – is made when they tell us no. Partially no, or a half-hearted yes. Same thing. And there you experience sexual intensities never seen before. When they don’t want you, or they want you as a lover, or second best, or call it whatever you want that balance that doesn’t stand, the understanding is total, you will have noticed it.
Relationships: A Matter of Circumstances?
The other thing we don’t like to admit, I’ve never understood why, is that love is also – very much – a matter of circumstances. Interlocks. Time. Time is important.
Who knows why selfishness always seems like a terrifying admission, while it’s just the old story of everyone going about their life without being able to care about the problems of others, there is only room for their own. It is a non-shared system of values between people, of interference of the right moments. Call it life, whatever you like.
What makes others love us
We always wondered what it was, that was supposed to attract people to us. Make us love. Over the years, everyone has tried to write their own little ranking, which varied based on age. At first you thought it was beauty, the first virtue. Then you convince yourself that it is certainly character, determination, a certain intelligent sweetness. It takes you a while to come to the conclusion that bringing two people together will especially require circumstances, a matter of guessing the moments. It will almost never be a collection of good qualities that will make you irresistible, very often it will be a succession of coincidences. The architect of fate for almost everyone is time.
Defective Relationships and the myth of love at all costs
Then of course, it is better for us to be reborn with those special characters. The always-standing characters. The characters who bury everyone with laughter. The characters sea view. Those without the myth of love at all costs, the life-saver, those who like things as they go, they go.
Don’t make me repeat the same line over and over again Philip Roth. It passed unexploded, nostalgia. Bullshits. Except that we started looking for a more pompous name to say it, a word for adults who know how to suffer well in their little free time.
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