C.hello Ester.
It’s me again, the one with the color sentence. You told me to come back if I found out how to save yourself, well, here I am. Eventually, learn a saying “unrequited love” instead of “friendzone” helps. How it helps to hit bottom – yes, I have exhausted the forces of the dreamer, rare, but sometimes it happens.
And he made me run out of them when in my last rush of “I can’t believe it will turn out like this, we are made to grow old together and bla bla bla” I finally saw him for what he is: one like many, maybe just more arrogantello of the average.
And I wondered, Ester, if it was worth trying to stay, to wait, but in the end what was I really waiting for?
After an aperitif in the cold to talk about what we saw and he did not, the only thing I really wanted to recover was my smile, not his as an old man. I went out with someone else who, needless to say, I didn’t like.
And then, a kind of Christmas miracle – I hate Christmas. I know someone who from the first minute is able to make me shine with his own light so much I feel at ease with him. One with whom absolutely nothing happens except evenings, calls, messages.
A nothing that is consumed under the sizzle of the lights in the streets of the Moscova. Until he leaves – yes, because the boy is married and lives in the States. And here is the turning point, here is salvation.
Because I understand that it is I who shine, not him. That I can decide to stay in Milan and see that other one again – who, yes, according to the best tradition, is back and now seems to want something more – or go to New York and, if it happens, see this one from which I don’t want anything more because he couldn’t have given me more than that.
Guess? I’m going to NY. I didn’t even tell him.
Who knows how long this salvation lasts, but it’s not a bad feeling.
Happy holidays, Esther
Ester Viola’s answer
Ester Viola
Dear I.,
and finally. If only they rented apartments on the handle of the knife. Better than the sea view, you will have noticed.
When you don’t like anyone or you like them all but you command a lot. Have you seen how love doesn’t even matter in the best moments of love? The freedom to do without, to choose, has a lot to do with it. Something will mean.
Do you remember the compendium of the ars amandi?
It is understood, after a little observation of the human, that the brightest in the sentimental field go nonsense without ever asking themselves anything. They will have understood that success brings them silence on golden wings: generally the smarter you are, the more you avoid questions.
On the useful / useless front we are even worse off. We already made the unfortunate list
Fixed and gentle presence. Not recommended. From “you are a very nice person” to butler is a snap.
Absence bitch. Not recommended. The unsolved egoist who cares about you is like ripped jeans, a must-have at twenty, grossly ridiculous after twenty-nine. In the long run, the absentees do without.
Be spontaneous. That will be you too, but “it’s me” says absolutely nothing about your worth. Sincerity is an intermittent quality. The world likes your controlled version, the one that thinks, the one that tries to be a little better than it is. Eternal love is nothing more than the pact between two people for a perennial reasoned calculation of the consequences.
Be scientific. Not recommended. Attitude that does not pay. Or rather, it would pay as well, but every calculation is a preview of sacrifice. Nothing ages like refined strategies.
Be docile. Not recommended. Too much peace corrodes.
Being quarrels. Not recommended. People think about the liver first and then about love.
Be hasty. Not recommended. Good things take time.
Being too slow. Not recommended. “I have never known of a skilful military operation protracted for a long time, while I have seen daring operations succeeded only by the speed of execution” (the most depressing truths are all found in the Sun-Tzu).
Maintain independence. Not recommended. Independence from whom? There are two of you now.
Lovers who keep their distance as a self-imposed tactic of sentimental preservation do exist. Two idiots. Postponing the main test is not necessary. Of “waiting for the right moment” you die. In fact, when it comes to love, Saturn is always against.
Moving in together. Not recommended. Anyone, if you go to live together, will become familiar to you as a piece of bread.
Be the more in love of the two. Not recommended. It means living with the constant impression of being able to lose health.
Be the less in love of the two. Power (sentimental) wears out those who have it and annoys them.
Instead let’s talk about you, I. You have been put aside about the secrets of the rooms: great love is what teaches you to get by on your own. When there is an I, yours, that’s where you have to insist.
Let’s hear from you soon, write me. Meanwhile, happy holidays to you too.
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