We give you some keys so that the education of our children does not exhaust us
According to a study by the Pew Studies Center Analysis, the work of educating our children is even more tiring than working. 12% of those surveyed consider that caring for their children is a “very exhausting” activity, while paid work is very exhausting for only 5% of the people who answered the survey.
Surely most of us who have children do not find these surprising data. Of course, in this same study it is pointed out that caring for children is an activity full of meaning for 62% of those surveyed, far from the 36% who consider that paid work makes sense.
So the question could be: how can we make the work of caring for our children less tiring and more fulfilling?
Family therapist Craig Pierce gives a series of ideas to make the education of our children a less exhausting task.
Try to stay calm and control your emotions
Children learn skills by seeing how their parents handle themselves in different situations. By staying calm, even when your children try to test you, you can control the emotional temperature in your home in the midst of stress. “If you want to raise children who are able to control themselves, manage their emotions, and treat others with care and compassion, you have to model healthy relationships first.Pierce assures.
Manage your expectations. Remember that there are no perfect parents or perfect children.
Wishing for a perfect family can make you not enjoy the one you already have. “Children who are loved, encouraged and allowed to grow at their own pace will develop good self-esteem and confidence,” says Pierce. “Children go through complicated stages that can drive even the most patient parents crazy. When you feel yourself getting nervous, it can help to take a step back and put things in perspective. What makes you nervous today is usually resolved in a very short time. Instead of fixating on what’s wrong, trust that things will work out. they will fix“.
Spend time outside.
If you think you’re reaching a limit, it may help to call a family member or friend. “A simple conversation on the phone can give you the opportunity to withdraw and recompose yourself & rdquor ;. As therapist Courtney Custer says, “it is important to build a support network. Being able to share with someone facing the same challenges as you can help you regain perspective”
Distract
If it is not possible to free yourself from the children for a while and the situation is stressing you, you can opt for distract them by going outside for some fresh air, or giving them a chore or reading a book together.
Connect
Kids get nervous, too, so to keep the peace in your home, Pierce recommends focusing on connecting with our kids, especially through “empathy toward each other’s feelings.” One strategy she proposes is to listen fully to what our children tell us.. “When children feel heard, they grow up feeling safe and secure. That alone can relieve a lot of stress”.
And the article ends with a very important reflection: “There is a reason why the flight attendants remind us to put the oxygen masks on ourselves first, before our children. We can’t take care of our families if we don’t take care of ourselves. Let’s learn to identify the warning signs of our stress and have a plan to lower the level of stress (be it exercising, leaving the scene to calm down or calling a friend). When you feel calm, you give your children a sense of security that helps them grow & rdquor ;.