Are ‘people these days’ less nice and helpful? | Chantal van der Leest

“I can’t get my coat closed!” The lady in the scooter called out to no one in particular. It was a bad day, the wind took your breath away. She was standing in a busy square, but no one stopped. Those who are sometimes a bit gloomy – like me – might think that ‘people these days’ are less pleasant. But who are they then? I almost only know nice people.

Something else seems to be going on, researchers John Darley and Daniel Batson of Princeton University already thought in 1973. They asked a large number of people to prepare a talk. Half were asked to say something about making a career, the other half about doing good for others. Then they had to immediately walk to another location to give this talk. And there was the crux.

Because not everyone got the same amount of time to walk to the next location. There were three variations. Some people were told they had plenty of time, others that they would arrive right on time. And there was a group who heard that they were already too late and had to hurry.

One by one, the test subjects left. On the way, they passed someone—actually an actor associated with the investigation—who had fallen in an alley. Would they lend a helping hand? You expect people who have talk in their heads about doing good to stop and help. This appeared to not be the case. Time turned out to be most important. Only 10 percent of the group who were in a hurry stopped, of the people with time almost two out of three stopped.

You would think that in 2023 we will have much more time to lend a helping hand than in 1973. With all the technology and machines that make our lives easier and save time. But instead of slowing down, we’ve only crammed our schedules fuller. We need everything from ourselves.

I myself am no exception. I happened to have time that day on the square. I stopped and chatted briefly with the lady as I tugged on the reluctant zipper. A small moment when two random lives intersected and we saw each other as human beings. Until the zipper gave way. We quickly hurried back to our appointments.

Want to know more about psychology and work? Read Chantal’s books Why perfectionists are rarely happy, 13 tips against perfectionism (2021) and Our fallible thinking at work (2018).

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