We sympathize en masse with Ukraine. But at the same time, more and more people from Brabant are afraid of the consequences of the war on life and the future here. How do you deal with those concerns? Carmelita Relyveld from Oudenbosch is a psychologist who specializes in dealing with anxiety and stress. “Don’t get stuck in disaster scenarios.”
In her own practice, Relyveld also notices that her clients are often concerned with the situation in Ukraine. “Before the sessions start, that is often the talk of the town. They are mainly concerned about the fate of those poor people there, but also whether it will not all come this way.”
And that can often result in a lot of worrying and sleepless nights. “Certainly in people who are naturally more sensitive to fears.”
The solution is anything but simple, she knows from experience. “I often give people exercises to close their thoughts off that particular subject. So that they do not fall into the same negative thoughts again and again. Only now we are in the unique situation that you are confronted with the war everywhere. On television, in newspapers, over the radio.”
So escaping it doesn’t seem like an option. “It’s not a good idea to bury your head in the sand anyway.” But then what? “There are different workouts you can apply.”
1. Five minutes for doomsday scenarios
Take a kitchen timer, for example, and set it for five minutes. Then you can let all possible doomsday scenarios run through your head uninhibitedly. When the time has passed, you agree with yourself that it is ready. That often cheers up.
2. How realistic are your concerns?
Have a discussion with yourself. List all your concerns and then ask yourself one by one how realistic it actually is. Is it plausible, for example, that the Russians will soon be at the border here? That way you often find out that those thoughts are unreal.
3. Accepting Unavoidable Matters
Not all concerns are unfounded. For example, whether you will still be able to pay for petrol in six months. Or the groceries, which are also becoming more and more expensive. But as difficult as it sounds, it’s really a matter of trying to accept it. The prices are going up, you can’t do anything about it.
Neuropsychologist Erik Matser also hears around him that people are lying awake. “We are in the middle of a unique phenomenon. After corona, this is the second time in a short time that we are all affected by a certain fear. And then it does not help that we hear everywhere that Putin is crazy and that an atomic bomb could just fall.” .” Yet Matser also thinks it is unwise to cut yourself off from all reporting.
4. Collect reliable information
“Just try to delve into how it works. Listen to the people who really understand it and read the right background articles. If you get a better idea of what exactly is going on and you are not only guided by big words, then gives a sense of control, but even then: these are simply fearful times.