In addition to the well-known Children’s Phone, there has also been an Parent Phone since the very first coronalockdown. A helpline for parents who feel that parenthood is just too much for them. Anna Rensen has been a volunteer there for three months and supports parents who need it.
Where you might expect the number of phone calls to decrease after the corona measures, the opposite appears to be the case. “The number of people contacting us is still increasing.”
From her home in the village of Huisseling near Oss, Anna logs in to the Parent Phone system once a week. There she calls and chats anonymously with parents who need it. In daily life she is a pedagogue and divorce coach and before that she worked in foster care. Anna raised two children herself.
“This work is close to my heart,” says Anna. “I would like to help children and I believe that the best way to do this is preventively by assisting parents. The family lays the foundation for every child.”
Anna is happy to help people who call with the Parent Phone. According to her, this number is still rising, partly because people often find it difficult to ask for help with parenting. “There is a huge taboo on that. It is quickly seen as a failure.”
“Educating is something you just have to be able to do.”
She does not find it strange that parents sometimes find parenting difficult. “Normally you have to have a piece of paper for everything and anything, such as an education or driver’s license. That is not necessary for raising children: everyone can have children. So it is something you just have to be able to do. But if something is difficult, then it’s upbringing.”
When someone calls the Parent Phone, Anna should see what they are looking for. Sometimes that is a listening ear, sometimes something completely different. “I’ve had people on the phone who thought themselves a bad parent. A father who found it difficult to deal with his crying child. Or a mother who found it difficult that her daughter lied to her.”
Anna handles every problem differently, but the volunteers never give advice, she emphasizes. “Sometimes someone is looking for the golden tip. We don’t have that. Every situation is unique and a parent knows his or her own child best.”
“It’s very close to my heart.”
Still, a conversation for parents can be very helpful. “You give them some recognition and make them feel heard and understood. We try to ensure that they find a solution to their problem themselves. By asking questions, you can make them look at things differently.”
Her background as a pedagogue helps enormously. However, it is sometimes difficult not to give parents advice. “You really have to train that. Fortunately, we do that a lot within the organization.”
Usually Anna talks to parents for about half an hour, during which time she tries to help someone out. “It’s very nice if someone indicates that our conversation has helped. That’s why you do this,” says Anna. “It’s very close to my heart.”