By Konstantin Marrach
Let’s talk about the suffering of love and the burden of lust. Since November 2020, sex counselor Jana Förster has been writing columns for BZ on a regular basis and is dedicated to the piquant questions of the readers. Time to look back again.
Since the beginning of this year, which columns have received the most reactions from readers, and which ones have received the most letters and inquiries? Here are the top 5:
5th place: “It doesn’t work in bed, so should I leave her?”
A reader (26) is desperate. He has a wonderful relationship with his girlfriend. Only in terms of sex, the two do not harmonize. Now he wants to know whether a separation would be advisable.
Sex counselor Jana Förster says that love rarely works without desire. And she gives tips on how the couple can rekindle their passion – including through a very simple exercise.
4th place: “2 women and 1 man – how can that work?”
A reader – mid-30s – has been happily married for several years, but has now been intimate with a friend and has developed feelings for her. She wants to know if and how it is permanently possible to have a relationship with three people.
The BZ expert explains that a so-called triad can definitely work. But there are three important rules to be observed – among other things, quality time for two is enormously important in this constellation.
3rd place: “This is how women are guaranteed to reach the climax.”
In this column, too, a reader asks Jana Förster for advice. The mid-forties writes that she has never experienced an orgasm during sex and doesn’t know what to do anymore.
The expert gives tips on how to achieve a climax during sex together. A trick lies in the so-called yoni massage and the pleasurable training for two.
The same reader writes another email a few weeks later. Although it does not work regularly with the orgasm during sex. But at least she has now achieved this quite often.
2nd place: “My wife is blackmailing me with sex deprivation! What should I do?”
There have been several letters (from readers who know about similar problems) to a column in the last six months on this subject: A desperate reader writes that his wife would blackmail him with sex withdrawal.
Sex counselor Jana Förster first writes about the dramatic consequences for the psyche and body when such a situation arises in the relationship. And she offers advice on how the couple can break out of this vicious circle. As is so often the case, everything depends on open communication…
1st place: “I’m happily married, but I’ve fallen in love again”
By far the most letters and reactions came from the following column: A reader asks Jana Förster for advice. She has been happily married to her husband for many years, but has now fallen in love with a neighbor. She now has feelings for both of them and doesn’t know what to do next…
Jana Förster is also very sensitive to this problem and gives assessments and advice. An important point of her column is that “we can feel deep love and connection for a partner and at the same time our brain is quite capable of developing a crush or infatuation for another person without losing the deep feelings for one’s own partner suffer from it.”
Do you also have questions for the expert?
Is there a crisis in your relationship and you don’t know why? Isn’t bed like it used to be?
You can ask your questions in the popular BZ series “Frau Förster’s Question Time” – completely anonymously, of course. Our expert Jana Förster, who has been working as a sex counselor since 2016, takes on the problems and answers them in her weekly online column.
Send your questions by e-mail to [email protected] or by post to: Question Hours, Redaktion BZ, Axel-Springer-Straße 65, 10888 Berlin.