By Konstantin Marrach
First the good news: three out of four Germans who are in a relationship or married have a good relationship with their in-laws. But there are also problems…
Conversely, around a quarter of Germans have a strained relationship with their mother-in-law or father-in-law.
This is the result of a survey by the online portal Elite Partners. According to this, the same number of men and women have difficulties with their partner’s parents …
Also interesting: People perceive the relationship with their in-laws as particularly strained if they themselves are dissatisfied in their relationship or marriage (33 percent). Happy partners have significantly less stress with their partner’s mother or father (20 percent).
Further findings of the survey:
► Many Germans see their in-laws as a great support in everyday life – regardless of whether it is about childcare, manual work or shopping. Here even more men (41 percent) than women (37 percent) gave positive feedback.
Curious: according to the survey, one in four Germans get along better with their in-laws than with their own mother or father.
► The other side of the coin: When couples quarrel, parents-in-law are often the trigger. Almost 20 percent said they regularly bicker because the other’s parents interfere in the relationship or try to influence the partner.
► And: One in four respondents is secretly relieved when the in-laws live as far away as possible. Because: 23 percent of men and 20 percent of women have the feeling that they have to pretend to their partner’s mother or father. And 21 percent even believe that they are not really accepted by their in-laws…
If it’s absolutely not possible… can in-laws be invited out of important events? “That depends on personal priorities, values, needs and living conditions,” says Agnes Jarosch, co-founder of the German Knigge Council. “Rejection can hurt, so the rejection should be worded tactfully – and above all, in good time. Last minute cancellations are always critical.”
The expert emphasizes: “A good reason helps to accept the rejection without bitterness.”