The unwanted loneliness It’s a feeling all too common among old people. For Maria Marquez-GonzalezPhD in Clinical and Health Psychology, researcher and tenured professor of the Department of Psychology and Health of the Autonomous University of Madrid (UAM) and collaborator of the ‘Always Accompanied’ program of the ‘la Caixa” Foundation, even in old age it is essential to continue hooked on a life project that excites
– More than 11% of the Spanish population is in a situation of unwanted solitude. A challenge.
-Enormous. Loneliness is a very complex experience that is related to many others, such as depression, anxiety and isolation, and to a decline in physical and psychological health, which entails a high human and economic cost. The challenge is such that unless we address it soon, with a good analysis and a good identification of the tools needed to change it, we are ready. There is a lot of desire and many initiatives at the level of local entities and foundations, but what is missing is a national strategy for loneliness. A conductor or conductor.
-In the program ‘Always accompanied& rdquor; They talk about empowering older people to manage their loneliness. How is it achieved?
-The management of loneliness is the management of life. We cannot fight loneliness without being clear about what we want to install in its place. You have to work with the person to make a reconnection with their sources of meaning, reinforcement, gratification, which makes them alive. Have a roadmap. And that empowers.
-This management will be different according to age.
-The important thing is to have projects, adapting to the circumstances. Not by resigning yourself, but by adapting to those circumstances, be they health, mobility, loss of functional capacity, which impose slightly more limited scenarios on us, but that does not prevent us from continuing to have vital projects, a road map. In gerontology we talk about the flexible adjustment of goals. Living life in a way that, despite the restrictions, is worth living. You have to be hooked on a life project that excites you.
– Do we age as we live?
– It has a lot to do with it, it is one of the keys. In life we are sowing relationships, ways of connecting with others, learning, the perception that we can learn things. If you do not sow, then it is very difficult to cultivate your vital garden, because you will not have the necessary skills or habits. Aging is prepared and we age with the tools and approach that we have been adopting during our lives.
– How do we prepare?
– One of the keys is getting to know each other, discovering each other, having spaces during life to ask ourselves the questions of what I like, what makes me happy, what things make my life meaningful, what things give me experiences that I would like to continue having, in what directions I want to walk, what plants I want to grow in my garden. And cultivate those plants all your life. But not one or two little plants, no; several must be cultivated, a diverse vital garden, because this richness gives psychological flexibility, which is another of the keys to aging.
– Do we have to value old age?
– That is a pending issue for a long time. A society that does not truly value the well-being of the elderly and the wealth they bring is not sustainable. It is an urgent task, because they are assets that we waste. Society would gain, and a lot.
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– Another pending subject is the intergenerational relationship?
-Yes, it is another of the keys. The very architecture of cities, of our spaces, should allow much more coexistence between generations. Now there is segregation. We have ended up separating the older ones, it has not been intentional, but the result is that we have been cornering them. To fight against the loneliness of people of all ages, we must be able to meet in our daily spaces, and be able to stop to share a conversation, a few words, a smile… so that, among all of us, we can build a more connected society in which the loneliness has less and less place.
A future of opportunities
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