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Friends, relatives, boyfriends ask you how you are and you answer default “well”, regardless of how you really feel. Or You happen to warn a knot in the throatperceive an inner restlessness that gives no respite, but You can never give a name to these sensations. It is as if the emotions existed inside you, but they remained imprisoned, indistinct, unnamed. To express them, it is not talked about. In spite of what it might seem likeyours is not coldness, nor lack of sensitivity: what you live is a difficulty in recognizing and translating what you feel on an emotional level. This condition, called alexithymiaaffects more people than you think and It can make it tiring to communicate what is feeling and, consequently, have relationships that go into intimacy. Understanding what Alessitimia is is the first step to dissolve the silence of emotions. We leave the floor to the opening.
Alessitimia: when emotions remain blocked and indefinite
«Let’s start by saying that It’s not your fault If you struggle to name emotions, “explains the Dr. Elisa Stefanati, psychotherapist at the Aesthe Medical Poliambulatorio in Ferrara. «With Alessitimia (from the Greek A-Lexis-Thymos, that is,” lack of words for emotions “) refers to one difficult difficulty in recognizing, identifying and describing one’s emotional states. Attention: it does not mean not feeling emotions, but not being able to translate them into words or to connect them to what you are living », explains Dr. Stefanati. “Who suffers from it it can feel a physical or mental discomfort, but not knowing if it isfor example, of anxiety, sadness or anger. It is like living a “changed” emotion: you feel it in the body, but you cannot name it. This difficulty it does not only concern communication with othersbut also the relationship with themselves: Emotions are a compass that directs choices and relationships. Without them, you can feel confused or detached ». Know that it is not a rare disorder. “The term Alessitimia was used for the first time in the 1950s To describe patients with psychosomatic pathologies, and today it is recognized as a trait present in different forms of emotional or relational unease ».
The origins of Alexithymia: between biology, education and emotional defenses
Why do some people develop alexithymia and others don’t? “The causes»Explains Dr. Stefanati,” they are manifold and intertwine with each other: biological, psychological and socio -cultural. On the one hand, there are neurobiological differences in the areas of the brain involved in emotional regulationlike the amygdala and the prefrontal cortex. But early experiences also play it. Who grows in family contexts where emotional expression is discouraged or lived as a sign of weakness It can learn, unconsciously, to “not feel” to protect itself from pain ». Alexithymia, in these cases, becomes a form of defense. “It is an armor developed in response to trauma or emotional deficiencies: It is not a disease, let alone a fault. Is a way of adapt to environments where it was not sure/accepted showing emotions»Adds the psychotherapist. Cultural and social factors also count: «In many societies, especially for men, expressing vulnerability is still perceived as weakness»Remember Stefanati.
Alexitimia: when the emotions are there, but they do not find the words to go out (Getty Images)
Alessitimia: how to find words to express your inner world
The good news is that you can learn (or re -re -tear) to get in touch with your emotions. “The path requires time and delicacy”underlines Dr. Stefanati.
«In psychotherapy we work to expand the emotional vocabulary and develop greater awareness of body signals. Approaches like Cognitive-behavioral therapy, therapy focused on emotions or mindfulness They help to recognize what you feel, starting from the body. THE’EMDR (Eye Movement Dessensitization and Reprocessing), a desensitization and reworking technique through eye movements, It can be useful for elaborate trauma of the pastintegrating the emotional parts that were stuck, “continues the specialist.
The help of writing
«Next to therapeutic work, too Expressive writing or psycho -pumping phototherapy techniques They can prove effective. The images activate emotions in an immediate and profound way, facilitating the connection with themselves. In the end, Somatic practices such as yoga and meditation support the Mente-Carpo dialogue. It is not a question of correcting a defect, but of finding contact with one’s inner world, with kindness and curiosity ».