If you believe that loving yourself means that nothing affects you, that the indifference of those you love does not hurt you, that everything that hurts you stops liking or attracting you, and that mistakes or losses do not frustrate or make you sad, I believe that this definition of self-love is only going to generate suffering and difficulties for you to go through the difficult moments that occur healthily.
From my perspective, self-love is:
SELF-CARE, DETERMINATION, SELF-COMPASSION, MODESTY, ACCEPTANCE AND AUTHENTICITY.
-IS SELF-CARE because loving in principle means caring. Think about it for a second: What is the first thing you do with a child, a parent, a friend, or even a pet you love? I imagine that you take care of them, and every time they get hurt or exposed to danger it hurts, you feel anxiety, anger or sadness. Self-love is the same, to love yourself you have to take care of yourself. Take care of your body and your emotional well-being! Take time to do some type of physical activity that you like, eat well, don’t expose yourself to places where you are mistreated or rejected, and share quality time with the important people in your life. Take care of yourself as if you were your own son or daughter.
-ES DETERMINATION because taking care of yourself requires a lot of will. Not only must we tolerate the discomfort of setting limits for others, we must also set limits for ourselves, and that often means giving up short-term pleasures in pursuit of later well-being. Without effort and determination it becomes an impossible task.
-IT IS SELF-COMPASSION because we must always evaluate our mistakes in context and as part of a process. Just as we understand that when a friend makes a mistake, the error is part of the process and not an inability inherent to his being, we must understand that mistakes do not define us either. This does not mean that we cannot use self-criticism, but always understanding that what we are going to question is a behavior, in order to modify it and not repeat it, and not our being.
-IT IS HUMILITY AND ACCEPTANCE because we must conceive that we cannot have everything we want. There will be many “no”s that life will put in front of us. People we love will leave or reject us, dreams we desire will not be fulfilled, and we may never have some qualities we would like to have. It is necessary to accept it to stop exposing ourselves to rejection over and over again, to continue trying to change what is impossible to modify, or to wait for what never comes.
-IT IS AUTHENTICITY because valuing what we do have available, the qualities that were given to us and those that we can develop will give us a notion of the true impact that we can have in our lives and in the lives of others. Wanting to be what we are not will not make us be, but it will prevent us from enjoying everything we can be.
REMEMBER: He SELF-LOVE It is a personal journey, not a career. Don’t compete with the rest.
It is a path of transformation that requires commitment and effort. It is not an end goal, but rather a continuous process of learning and growth. Embrace the self carethe determinationthe self-pitythe modestythe acceptance and the authenticity It will allow us to build a healthy and deep relationship with ourselves, the fundamental basis for a full life.
And now that you have this new definition of SELF-LOVE I ask you:
ARE YOU LOVING YOURSELF?
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by CEDOC
