It was a shocking court case in Den Bosch on Monday. A mother from Budel-Schoot was sentenced to five years in prison for the serious abuse of her baby. Shaking it, throwing it in the playpen, but also calling the baby a ‘cunt’. What are the consequences of such abuse for a baby, besides the many broken bones and bruises? According to expert Elisa van Ee, the damage can be extensive. “Your brain can become disordered.”
A young baby will most likely not remember anything about the abuse. But that does not mean that the child will not notice it later. “A baby doesn’t have a language yet,” says Van Ee. “And the memory doesn’t work in such a way that there are images at such a young age. The child may not yet have nightmares about it. But what we do know is that the abuse is stored in the form of a physical memory. You get an unpleasant feeling in your body and you don’t know where it comes from.”
Van Ee is a professor by special appointment of psychotrauma and affiliated with the Reinier van Arkel mental health care institution in ‘s-Hertogenbosch. She regularly sees how the three forms of child abuse are intertwined. Emotional abuse, name-calling, ignoring or denigrating are the most common. And is the most difficult for people to recognize. “It has major consequences for your self-image. You start to wonder if you can still be there. ”
“You get angry more easily and have difficulty concentrating”
A baby needs safety. “You are completely dependent on an adult,” says Van Ee. “It is very important that that relationship is safe. From that relationship you will explore the world. If there is abuse, this becomes disrupted. The child comes under stress and this manifests itself, among other things, through crying. It calls on the caregiver to provide security, but the caregiver is precisely the source of insecurity.”
According to Van Ee, this can seriously damage a baby. “If you are under stress so early, it has major consequences for the development of your brain. You have a harder time controlling your emotions. You get angry more easily and have difficulty concentrating. It’s hard to calm yourself down.” Sometimes abused children can become abusive as parents themselves. “The vast majority do not do that, but the risk is two to three times greater.”
“A lot is expected of foster parents. That ideal picture is not always there”
An abused baby can recover. The earlier the intervention, the better. “Children can also be very resilient if they are cared for in a stable family, where safety can still return and stress can calm down. Structure and predictability are very important here. But a new safe place is not self-evident. The shortage of foster families is great. And a lot is expected of foster parents. The ideal picture is not always there.”
Van Ee believes that it does not always have to be a bad thing if a child wants to contact their biological parents again after abuse. “Children also want to know where they come from. It is important for a child to know something about the past without telling all the details. And it is also good to speak empathetically about the parent. It doesn’t make the abuse right, but it can help you understand it.”
“If a report of child abuse comes in, you are already on a waiting list”
According to Van Ee, there is still a lot to be gained when it comes to preventing abuse such as that suffered by the baby in Budel-Schoot. Especially when it comes to supporting mothers or fathers who are struggling with parenthood. “There is not enough money and attention for it. We can prevent a lot if parents with problems have a network around them that can provide support. But the community has also fallen apart. It’s easier said than done.”
In addition, waiting lists in healthcare are a major problem. “If a report of child abuse is received, you will be put on the waiting list. I sometimes wonder, how is that possible in the Netherlands? There are such good treatments.” Even if you are now an adult and suffered from abuse in your youth, you can still do something about it. “A good example is EMDR. A psychologist takes you through the worst events, so that you remember it differently than at the time of the abuse. The fear then calms down.”
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