Maaike (24) did not know a safe home as a teenager. High school was her safe place, and she eventually confided in her math teacher. This is how she managed to escape the domestic violence. Eight municipalities and 180 schools in the Hart voor Brabant region will soon start with the Handle with Care program. This should support students who are victims of domestic violence, such as Maaike, more quickly. For example, lifelong traumas and educational disadvantages must be prevented.
Handle with Care is originally from England and is a method for children between 4 and 18 years. It’s not an aid track. As soon as the municipality receives a report that children are involved in domestic violence, the school is informed for the next class day. They only get the ‘Handle with Care’ message, not what happened.
Maaike thinks that’s a good thing. “I was good at maths and had a good relationship with the teacher. It was only because of my home situation that I messed up a test.” Her teacher thought that was strange and he started the conversation. Maaike told her story and was then referred by him to the internal supervisor of her school.
She just had no connection with that, nor with her substitute mentor. “It is very important that as a child you can tell your story to someone with whom you have a relationship of trust.” In the end Maaike came back to her math teacher.
“It didn’t work out between me and my mother’s new partner. I couldn’t do anything right and it was a constant fight.” Maaike eventually left home. She completed her mavo, did mbo and now has a hbo diploma. Only the domestic violence has left its mark. “I have a hard time bonding, have trouble with intimate relationships and suffer from hyperfocus.”
A Handle with Care report allows the school to take the situation of a student into account. “A child then needs rest and regularity. Teachers then know that they have to work a normal day so that school remains a really safe place,” explains regional project leader for domestic violence Marieke Blanken.
“Making a test after an incident does not work. Because of such a report it can be moved,” says Blanken. Mikey nods in agreement. “That way you break the vicious circle. Without a diploma, a good job is difficult, which causes stress and possibly later poverty and an unsafe situation.”
Maaike was once in the computer room when someone teasingly grabbed her by the neck. “Because of my home situation, I freaked out and I was not allowed to go to the media library for a month.” Her school then did not know why she reacted this way and unconsciously punished her doubly. “I couldn’t work safely at home and at school behind the computer.”
In 2020, 2784 children in the Hart van Brabant region were involved in domestic violence and child abuse. “Teachers often know which children are involved. Only in previous pilots of Handle with Care did we sometimes discover victims of whom we had absolutely no idea,” says Blanken.
Research has shown that if a child is heard more quickly during domestic violence, the trauma becomes less. “Customization is important. The student decides for himself what is shared and with whom.” Maaike’s math teacher set a good example. “I wouldn’t have finished high school without him, let alone a college degree.”