When his wife asked Bruno Márquez if he wanted to go on vacation with his entire in-laws to Brazil, his first reaction was rejection. “It seemed like the anti-program to me,” she confesses, laughing. But as plans came together, he began to change his mind. Above all, because he saw his wife and his two children very excited. They ended up joining the trip and living 10 days to remember, in the best of senses. Although there were moments of fatigue and the occasional fight between the little ones, the final balance was more than positive. So much so that every other year they repeat and in 2024 they are packing their bags to leave for Garopaba.
Like him, there are several who this summer decided to embark on family vacations that cover much more than the intimate core. Brothers, parents, nephews, uncles and cousins They are ready to coexist in the most diverse landscapes. And thus a modality is returned that, although a few generations ago was more common, was lost over time.
With freedom
For Agustina B., travel with your parents It was always a great plan. She did it since she was little with her sister and, when they both became girlfriends, her sons-in-law joined in. Today, that they both have children, their parents’ invitation is to the entire clan and they try to have one trip together per year. “For my parents it is a great pleasure to be able to travel as a family, because they have time to be with their grandchildren,” she says, adding that thanks to her father’s generosity they have been able to visit destinations like Disney or the next one, the Dominican Republic.
After so many years doing it, however, he has established some rituals to achieve a good result. The first is that this family trip is not the only vacation of the year. She also tries to do something alone with her husband and her children, so as not to lose the intimacy of the core family. The second key is to learn to contemplate the routines of all the members. “Of course there are rispidities, although before there were more. We understood, for example, that my dad likes to make a whole breakfast ceremony, and with my sister we are more expeditious. But we settled in and today if any conflict arises, in general, it is only because of a specific bad mood,” she details.
Agustina’s strategy is in line with what is recommended by the graduate in Psychology and Psychopedagogy Viviana Kelmanowicz, who suggests being attentive to the different rhythms of the members, especially if they are of different age ranges. “There may be teenagers, children, older people and we shouldn’t expect to be together all the time. A good guideline for coexistence is to give freedom so that each person can do what they prefer and have some sacred meeting spaces, such as dinner or lunch,” she points out. And in that sense, she proposes that a nice bonding activity is for different groups to take turns making a meal or something special for each other.
And in terms of granting freedom, perhaps the option chosen by Laura Rodríguez is one of the best: with her family they decided to celebrate Christmas in Bariloche with their parents and siblings (there were 11 plus two dogs), but each group rented their own house and They established one as a central base. Thus, from the older brother with his two teenage daughters to the grandparents, they had their independence to move at their own pace and routine. “Our house was the meeting space. There we would meet to decide the day’s program or to cook together. And that made it lighter for everyone,” she says. In this way, plans could be organized individually or by several people, and no one felt pressured. At the same time, spending the holidays together but in a different place took away the tension that those dates can have, in which sometimes the host ends up getting stressed and fights arise. “It was a beautiful experience that we plan to repeat this year,” summarizes Laura.
Clear rules
Another important point when going on vacation in sweet bunch is to establish some basic rules. For example, you cannot bring sand into the house or make noise before or after a certain time. “Although there must always be flexibility, clear rules preserve good coexistence,” says Kelmanowicz. It is also good to anticipate certain conflicts that tend to recur, such as fights between siblings or some family members. “When planning a trip like this, one usually gets excited that everything is going to turn out great, and although it is good to maintain that illusion, desire and intention, you also have to visualize certain difficulties in order to prevent them,” warns the expert.
For Millie Gianella Bourdieu, the key is to go with “livable” people. That is, they can adapt to different panoramas without conflicts. “I think the main rule is peace, love and respect. Then, to handle yourself with flexibility as long as the rhythm of the rest is not altered. The point is to adapt, have a good time and make sure that others also have a good time,” she says. After traveling with extended family on several occasions, she also recommends discretion so as not to bother anyone with expenses and purchases, a topic that can be delicate.
This is how Martín Castagno experienced it, who after spending the first days with his cousins and brothers in Patagonia decided that it would be important to set an estimated budget so as not to incur excesses that would later be difficult to pay. “Drinking good wines every night had its price, and it meant that perhaps I couldn’t go on a certain excursion afterwards. It seemed vital to me to mark it so that they understood that I was not doing it in a bad way, but rather so that I could continue enjoying the rest of the vacation,” he says.
The psychologist and author of “Recalculating: you also learn to be an adult”, Silvana Weckesser, emphasizes the importance of this consensus. “Sometimes you choose the destination but you don’t find out how much you can afford to live once there, and then the situation can get complicated. You have to have more or less clear budgets to avoid certain financial tensions that can ruin the trip,” she highlights. For this reason, she recommends holding a prior meeting to discuss expectations regarding where you are going, accommodations, and activities. Also, think about flexible itineraries that adapt to different tastes and ages. “If, for example, a trek is organized and there are older people in the group, it is good to talk about it beforehand so that they do not feel excluded,” she suggests.
And above all things, the specialist recommends a vital rule: open conversation. That you can talk about what is expected from the trip and what each person will do so that everyone enjoys it. It is the basis for a successful coexistence and an experience that can always be remembered with joy.
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