“These people have been snatched from their families and homes. Helping is the least you can do.”
“Many people think: oh well, refugees can still go to an asylum seekers’ center? I have been in contact with shelter organizations this week and what I heard is distressing. Camps are becoming overcrowded, people have to sleep outside in tents and there is violence, chaos and total panic. That is why we decided to take Svetlana (47) and her family into our own home. Svetlana is here with her daughter (27), sister (37), nephew (7) and grandchildren (1 and 2). You don’t put such small children in a tent on the heath. And certainly not after what they’ve been through the past few weeks.
So much poverty
More than twenty years ago, Svetlana came to the Netherlands to work as a cleaner at the piano school where my stepfather took lessons. Conditions in Ukraine were so bad that she could not earn enough to support her child. I got to know Svetlana through my stepfather. We were about the same age, both had young children and grew closer. After five years she went back and I kept in touch with her. There is so much poverty in Ukraine. I live together with my whole family in a caravan site. We don’t have a lot of money here, but it’s in our blood to help each other when needed. Then you eat one less sandwich yourself! That’s why I used to send Svetlana diapers and second-hand clothes.
24 hours in the freezing cold
Even now I wanted to help her. “You can come here,” I told her as the threat in Ukraine increased. Of course she hesitated to flee her country. Her parents are old and sick and cannot leave, not even to a bomb shelter. And men are not allowed to leave Ukraine because they have to fight. But when her grandson’s primary school started taking precautions against a bombing, she left anyway. Without parents, without a husband. You shouldn’t be thinking about that, are you? With only three bags, the six of them went to the Polish border.
On the Ukrainian side, thousands of people were waiting to be allowed to enter Poland. Without shelter, water and food, they had to wait 24 hours in the freezing cold before they were allowed to leave the country. An ambulance even came because a child somewhere behind her would have died of the cold. Finally she and her family were allowed to board a Polish acquaintance and then my brother who was waiting in Germany.
hot bed
Meanwhile I prepared our camper. If someone has been through such dire circumstances, I think providing shelter is the least you can do. It’s all great, that it is being paid attention to on television and that our buildings are turning yellow and blue out of solidarity, but it also makes me angry. Do something! Show that solidarity! Svetlana was exhausted and emotional when she arrived here on Saturday night. She needed a warm bed. Safety. Not a symbolic statement.”
“Of course it is an invasion of your privacy if you act as a host family. I live in a trailer park with my husband, children and ten grandchildren. All in cars next to each other. Now we also had another six guests who came to shower and eat with us. The normal rules with which our house goes on and on will not apply for a while. If the cap isn’t on the toothpaste tube, I’m not going to whine about it now. There are more important things.
Inspiring Cultural Differences
Still, that invasion of my privacy isn’t that bad at all. I find it an enrichment to receive Svetlana and her family. You can be inspired by the cultural differences. For example, Ukrainians are very proud. They don’t like to be helped. Svetlana helps with the laundry and wants to help with the cooking. I appreciate that about her.
A big family
It is fuller here at home, but also a lot cozier. We eat together, we talk together. Even if it is sometimes hands and feet, it feels like we are one big family. My grandchildren are the same age as Svetlana’s nephew and grandchildren, and played together with cars on Sunday morning. They don’t speak the same language, but gibberish entire conversations with each other. Nationality no longer exists. That’s beautiful isn’t it?”
“There is a housing crisis in the Netherlands and the waiting lists for social housing are very long. I am an active member of the local political party Trots Haarlem and hear the criticism that refugee housing is at the expense of our homes. That is true, because in some cases refugees are given priority over Dutch nationals. If someone becomes an official status holder, they must have a house within ten weeks. As a Dutch person you sometimes have to wait much longer. By taking people into our homes, we reduce that problem. If you have the space itself, why sacrifice entire homes, which are already scarce?
Associated injustice
As a resident of a caravan site, I feel a connection with Svetlana’s situation. The ancestors of the caravan community, the Roma and the Sinti, have been denounced all their lives and almost all of them were murdered during the Second World War. And caravan dwellers are still seen as inferior criminals and preferably chased away in the Netherlands. I feel that injustice very deeply and I now see it happening in Ukraine. But my culture is also known for helping others. If someone needs food, he can always join us. Then I’m not going to whine about a few euros. We are all one family. That’s how I live.
Wealth
I hope that the Dutch will once again realize how good we have it here. We have a roof over our heads, plenty to eat and are now safe and our families have not been torn apart to flee and defend the country. What a wealth that is! We can sometimes complain so much in our country. Of course I sometimes complain, I’m only a Dutchman. When gas prices go up, you hear me too. But actually we have it really good here and I think it’s best to share some of your wealth. By taking in refugees, but also in many other ways. By collecting things, for example. In Ukraine, ATMs are closed and shops are almost empty. There is a need for flour, pasta, diapers, and shampoo. Collect it, send it. Small gestures like that go a long way.
And if you have room for it: take someone into your home. With organizations you can also indicate that this is only possible for a certain period of time. But Svetlana and her family can stay as long as they want. I grant them that they can rest in a safe place. And I wish that for all other refugees who will come as well.”