Pfirst of all congratulations! Still having dreams to realize, especially from a certain age onwards, is a excellent sign. It means that you are alive inside, not just outside. Often, though we tend to repress this internal part, as if feeling an intense desire to do or have something is to be allocated at most to adolescence, or at most to those who still feel like they have a career, be it in work or in love. «Having dreams, however, is more than legitimate and trying to transform them into projects in order to truly realize them is not only possible, but it is necessary for our well-being inner” explains Francesca Zampone, master coach in Milan. Here are 5 tips to put into practice immediately for a new, truly new year.
1 Don’t be ashamed of your dreams
We often think that what we see as so unattainable that it seems like a dream is something impossible, too far away to grasp, let alone achieve.
Our dreams, however, they are first of all “ours“: if as a child no one is ashamed to say that she wants to be a dancer, why do we have difficulty as adults admitting that we would like to learn tango with our boyfriend? Maybe because the man on duty doesn’t leave the sofa? «If a dream is ours, that is, not imposed by the media or linked to the fashion of the moment, we feel it as compelling. As an authentic desire one must ilearn to put it on the ground» explains the coach. «The first thing therefore is not to be ashamed of what you feel or experience, or would like to do, the second is start step by step, don’t think you can achieve it overnight. But don’t always put it off until tomorrow either” advises Francesca Zampone, founder of the coaching school Academy of Happiness.
2 Put your wishes on the agenda too
No one would ever dream of regularly missing an appointment with an important person. So why do we often skip the one with the most important person in our life, that is, with ourselves? Why is it that when there is extra work, or the dog is not well, the first things that are canceled are the few that concern us personally, even if it were the hairdresser that was postponed for months or the aperitif with our lifelong friend? «Because we don’t consider our needs and desires a priority» explains the coach. «Learn to opt for just two hours a week just for us, perhaps to start drawing up that project we’ve been dreaming of for a long time, it’s essential to go out and make our dreams come true. Alternatively, it is also enough to give yourself a space every day, even a short one, but which you can never skip. L’daily appointment with ourselves it is the first gesture of self-love which in the long run will become not only vital, but indispensable. And above all planning” explains Zampone.
3 Learn to accept discomfort
Dreaming is easy, talking about it is already more difficult. Putting into practice in everyday life what you dream is certainly source of stress, at least at the beginning. There are many coaching exercises that can help us achieve what we desire in the depths of our “I”. And that sometimes we don’t even have the courage to tell those who share the mortgage with us. “This exercise, for example, it helps to face the difficulties in realizing dreams when you feel stuck, with no way out” explains the coach. Here’s how to proceed:
Think of a wish that is very important to you and write it down.
Focus on a few actions essential to achievement and write them down.
Are there any actions that make or could make you uncomfortable?
Take one of the situations you listed and act: try to observe the discomfort it causes you and accept it, deal with it gradually, but don’t pretend it isn’t there. «This exercise allows you to get out of your comfort zone, teaches you to recognize your limiting attitudes and trains resilience. All fundamental skills if you want to become truly planning” concludes the coach.
Learning to schedule appointments with yourself also helps you make your dreams come true. (Getty Images)
4 Dreams must become a priority
Once you understand what you really want, all that remains is to put it into practice… and here the donkey fell and often also the best intentions. Even if you are truly aware of what you dream for yourself, there’s always an excuse ready (or that we create at the moment) to avoid testing ourselves. “Now I don’t have the money, I have to wait for my children to go to university, I can’t leave him now…”. They are just fake time-wasting justifications, in the sense that they make us move further and further forward the beginning of putting our desires into practice. Our dreams, however, are valid. At least as much as the requests of the most important customer or the needs of those around us. Only by considering them a priority can they truly be achieved, one little piece at a time. But in a constant, daily and professional way: as if it were a project that the boss asked us to complete by… «Give yourself a date, in which making at least the first attempt or the first practical step is essential to start” explains the coach, also an expert in Talent Management. «In the first step of grounding it is also enough to write down all the stages of that journey that we have been dreaming of for years, or ask for a quote to find out how much it costs to redo the bathroom of our dreams, or evaluate how long we can survive if we quit tomorrow and let’s go back to studying. Having done something anyway, it will be the incentive to do it again something else, until it becomes a habit.”
5 Train… for positivity
Once we have started with the planning of our dreams, and established which actions to take at least between now and the end of the month, all that remains is to believe in it. «Think positive it helps us realize more easily what we dream of” explains the coach. Children know this well and have no problem saying that as adults they want to become queens or go and see what the moon is like. «Learn to want big promotes personal fulfillment even as adults, as well as improving lifestyle and strengthen self-esteem» explains the coach. And when self-esteem is balanced, every dream is within reach. Or rather agenda, 2024 of course.
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