New Year’s Eve in Helmond a year ago. Officer Els Hofmans (35) and her colleague drive to a report of ‘destruction by fireworks’. Once there, nothing seems to be happening, until a huge bang sounds out of nowhere. Els and her colleague reflexively reach for their ears. A teenager has just thrown heavy illegal fireworks at the two. That one bang completely turns the lives of both officers upside down.
With every unexpected blow, which could be a slamming door, Officer Els’ body goes into spasm. What silence sounds like has forever become a memory of the past due to a permanent beep in her head. Despite these inconveniences, Els is working almost at full capacity again after a year. “By telling my story, I hope to prevent anyone from ever throwing fireworks at someone else, and certainly not at emergency workers.”
Els doesn’t remember exactly how she did it, but she picks up one boy. He is part of a group that runs away after the explosion. “I took him to the station and then our shift was over. Our ears felt swollen. That night I didn’t sleep well with a ringing in my head.”
“A slamming door makes my body stressed.”
The next morning she goes back to work, but the beep has not disappeared. Even in the days that follow, that annoying sound remains. Els sleeps poorly, because the quieter the environment, the more dominant the beep is. Later, a doctor diagnoses tinnitus. Her colleague is not in much better shape. They receive help from the police. “Social work, the psychologist, the physio, high-pressure cabins for the ears, EMDR therapy. We have tried everything to get rid of that ringing, without success.”
It is not just the beep that limits their functioning at work and privately. “My colleague and I get stressed with every bang,” says Els. “We were shocked then and we are still shocked by sudden loud noises. Your heart races and you freeze. That is only a fraction of a second, but that happens almost every day. It also causes me physical problems. For example, my shoulder is completely stuck because I cramp so often.”
“I often hear: ‘Why do you still go out on the streets?'”
This has made Els even more aware of the risks of her work as an agent. This also applies to her friends and family. “I’ve often heard: ‘Why do you still go out into the streets?’ But I still enjoy the work too much. No day is the same and sometimes you can really help people and therefore make the world a little more beautiful.”
The fireworks thrower will soon have to appear in court. “I have never spoken to him. He has never sought rapprochement. The judge will have to decide,” says Els. She hopes her story will make people aware of the dangers of fireworks. “That beep will probably never go away. I have been in deep depression and wondered whether I still have a future in the police.”
“I would have preferred a broken leg, at least that’s clearly visible to everyone.”
Els recently participated in a fireworks exercise for the emergency services. “I was worth nothing during the first exercise. The stress, the fear of the unexpected caused chaos in my body. Fortunately, the second exercise went much better. That gave me confidence in myself: I can still do it.”
Els has had to adjust her life to get back to normal again. “I have adapted my life to the beep. I would have preferred a broken leg, at least that is clear to the outside world. No one sees the panic in my body when something hard falls on the ground. No one sees that I skip a concert because I need to recover from it for a day. That I avoid busy bars because the noise exhausts me. When I think that this is because someone deliberately threw heavy fireworks at us, I want to cry and feel angry at the same time.”
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For example, there were reports of officers being pelted with fireworks.