«NThere is nothing natural about men’s violence towards women.” This statement, of professor Gianvito Martinoneurologist and Scientific Director of the San Raffaele Hospital, is the first to emerge from the meeting “Let’s ask ourselves why – Dialogues and exchanges on the roots of violence against women” conducted by Danda Santinidirector of iO Donna, in which the historian Elvira Vallerithe pedagogist Alessia Dulbecco and the magistrate Fabio Roia.
On the evening of Monday 20 November, the third edition of the event was held at the Manzoni Theater in Milan Pomellato For FALL MEa meeting which saw the participation of luminaries and experts led by Danda Santini and then by Francesca Fagnani, and the interventions of Sabina BelliCEO of Pomellato group, Manuela UliviPresident of CADMI e Kasia SmutniakActress and Director.
Why violence against women?
This question was at the center of the conversations that took place on the theater stage. Starting from the dramatic and recent femicide of 22-year-old Giulia Cecchettin, the latest in chronological order last night (but already surpassed by a new case registered this night), Danda Santini asked to the invited neurologist, historian, sociologist and magistrate Why do these abuses occur and what are their roots?
Danda Santini, Gianvito Martino, Elvira Dulleri, Alessia Dulbecco, Fabio Roia during the event “Let’s ask ourselves why – Dialogues and exchanges on the roots of violence against women”, held on Monday 20 November 2023 at the Manzoni Theater in Milan. (Photo: Courtesy Press Office)
Professor Martino explained how this type of gender violence does not have nothing organic or natural, as well as no type of sexual abuse or discrimination. “Sex in nature is a pure reproductive act and sometimes it doesn’t even involve different genders.” No, it is culture that generates this need for man to control women.
The historian Elvira Valleri, quickly retracing the stages of humanity, she focused on the poor consideration that men have historically had for women, considered non-rational and inferior beings until the times of the Enlightenment.
The pedagogist Dulbecco he then emphasized how much, sometimes unconsciously, Italian families perpetrate an unequal pattern of treatment between males and females and how this is then reflected in society in a poor consideration of women by men and a lower self-esteem of women towards themselves.
«We must all be social sentinels»
The intervention of magistrate Fabio Roiawith great power, therefore focused on the fact that laws are essential to punish crimes, but it is within everyday individual behavior that we need to intervene to stop this form of abuse. «We must be social sentinels, all of us, always. Isolate violence in all its forms from sexist jokes to attributing women’s successes to characteristics other than their skill at work.” The magistrate underlined how all of these are forms of gender violenceand that even those who consider themselves to be non-violent people often commit these acts of abuse against women.
Dismantling these daily dynamics within one’s circle of friends is challenging and, Roia explained, “often makes us unpleasant in the eyes of our friends”, but becoming “social sentinels” is an essential step to change the current mentality.
The magistrate underlined how the problem of violence against women cannot be resolved in the halls of Justice, justice must be accurate and applied with meticulousness and empathy, but “this is a problem of culture, of mind, of social reaction which – the magistrate underlined – does not yet exist in Italy”.
Understanding what violence is
The judge then cited the data of a parliamentary commission of inquiry which he analyzed 211 cases of femicide, discovered that only 15% of women had reported it, underlining that “reporting is the only way out of violence.” «The first problem is help those who suffer violence to understand that what they are suffering is in fact violence” explained the jurist, a 2014 ISTAT survey revealed that “7 out of 10 women do not know how to recognize violence”, especially that of a psychological nature, which isolates women and undermines their self-esteem.
That of the Recognizing violence is also a problem for abusive men. As the magistrate explained and then subsequently reiterated Michele Poli interviewed by Francesca Fagnani in the second part of the evening. «Men who commit violence are deniers – explained Roia – those who mistreat their partner do not realize they are committing a crime and therefore will continue to do so in the future. This because there is a lack of cultural and historical awareness that when I treat a woman badly, in all its forms, I am committing a crime». And the responsibility is collective, the magistrate often says social sentinels of isolation do not make him understandjustify, sometimes approve, or in everyday life continue to make sexist jokes.”
The concept of not understanding that one is committing or suffering a form of violence was taken up by Michele Poli, vice-president of the Maschile Plural association and President of the Listening Center for Maltreating Men of Ferrara, who in everyday life works with abusive men, in support groups, often imposed by legal punishment, which however have the aim of make abusers aware of their actions. «We need to talk to these men, let’s give them tools to interface in the correct way with womenare men who have grown up taking for granted a series of attitudes and values that do not include the conduct of a loving relationship.”
The myth of Cenide and “The natural inferiority of women”
The roots of this social inequality are deep and ancient. Danda Santini recalled a little-known Greek myth, that of Cenide, a nymph raped by the god Poseidon who after the rape offered her to make her wish come true. At the request of “never again having to suffer an attack like the one we just received” the god he transformed her into a man.
Also the actress and director Kasia Smutniak she went to the origins of abuse against women by reading some passages of book by Tama Starr: The natural inferiority of women (Sperling & Kupfer). After some decidedly unflattering passages pronounced by the most important figures in history from Plato to Sartre, he concluded his reading with this sentence: “There is no place where a woman can feel safe in Italy, there is not a man of who you can trust”, Elena Cecchettin, Chiara’s sister.
Kasia Smutniak reads some passages from Tama Starr’s book: “The natural inferiority of women”. (Photo: Courtesy Press Office)
The event then closed with a discussion between Francesca FagnaniManuela Ulivi, president of CADMI and Sabina Belli, CEO of Pomellato.
Manuela Ulivi, President of CADMI, civil lawyer, national councilor of the DiRe network to the question “Why?”, he replied «I believe that the male gender has not yet accepted the independence of women who are now present in all fields, and have not yet accepted the fact that many women today express their will freely. There is still a sense of reservation towards these women, considered dangerous, and therefore to be kept under control. And this desire often translates into violence. It is necessary that men also start thinking about this “why”.“, he said.
Sabina Belli stated: «We must educate men, educate children so that the state of things can begin to change. This great problem of humanity concerns everyone. Men must undertake a path of awareness and participation. Together we must build a new awareness, which involves men, not as passive spectators but as actors and drivers of change. Associations and institutions also have an important role in change, they can act to transform our culture of prejudice and behavior, they can fight stereotypes.”
They also participated in the evening Alessia Cappello – Councilor for Economic Development and Labor Policies of the Municipality of Milan, stated: «There are many protocols that the Municipality of Milan is activating to help and support women victims of violence. The many centers that we are opening or have already opened in Milan intervene when it is necessary to give support to women who want to emancipate themselves, return to the world of work and achieve the economic independence that encourages reporting. Giulia Cecchettin is the 105th victim of 2023, an impressive figure that makes the need for a cultural revolution clear. It is essential to invest in education in schools and in a culture of respect for others.”
Everyone can support CADMI
At the end of the evening, Francesca Fagnani announced thecharity auction in collaboration with CharityStars https://www.charitystars.com/chiediamociperche, immediately active (20-27 November), whose proceeds will be entirely donated to CADMI. Among the lots, Pomellato jewels and products made available by other brands of the Kering group.
iO Donna © ALL RIGHTS RESERVED