Colleagues in the hallway, friends at dinner, musicians anyway: Nobody isn’t talking about Rammstein and groupies and what’s actually going on in rock music. What is sometimes lost in all the justified outrage is a differentiation: What exactly happened, where does the justiciable begin, where does the fun end? A few general, personal thoughts on the situation – from a woman who has been going to rock concerts for 35 years and has a lot of understanding for young women who adore rock stars and are also interested in backstage. So far this seemed like a rather harmless pleasure.
What limits are we talking about anyway? Legal, moral, personal?
It still is for the most part, fortunately: There are a lot of rock bands that just throw normal after-show parties, where maybe there’s (too) much drinking, but otherwise little that’s wild happens. And basically I think everyone can have as much and as bad sex as they want, as long as it happens voluntarily from all sides. If violence or “just” pressure comes into play, that’s exactly what it’s no longer: a game that everyone involved enjoys. For me, the limits have clearly been exceeded.
And here is the next problem: Which limits do we actually mean? Legal, moral, personal? These are very different categories, of which the legal one is the least complicated. In this area, for once, I simply trust the German judiciary (and all the investigative journalists) to find out which allegations can be proven and prosecuted. When it comes to moral assessment, it becomes more difficult. Do you have to reject Rammstein and boycott their music and concerts because of this disgusting “Row Zero” policy (just to name what is clear so far)? Only everyone can decide that for themselves. For me it’s easy. I saw Rammstein for the first and last time in Roskilde in 1998. I found the lyrics and appearance very uncomfortable. I think it’s because I like provocation in general, but I don’t need a provocation that only exaggerates and somehow celebrates what society already has far too much of – sexism and violence. The lowest instincts that everyone knows don’t need to be coaxed out. In addition, it was immediately clear even then that many viewers would not be able to distinguish between the lyrical I and reality at all – unlike, for example, in Alice Cooper’s unambiguous theater. Not the band’s fault? Might be. Still hideous.
As far as getting fans who want sex is concerned: Basically, I think that everyone can at least choose the people they want to sleep with themselves. That’s not too much to ask. The fact that some bands seem to still outsource that too: pathetic. Sure, there’s always been security people inviting women backstage, for example, but professionalizing it in such a shabby way is a new dimension.
No matter how naïve some of the young women may have been or are – they are never, quite simply NEVER to blame for acts that happen against their will
Of course, one can also think about the abuse of power between rock star and fan in general, but anyone who has ever read Pamela Des Barres’ autobiography “I’m With The Band” knows that many groupies do not see themselves as fair game at all, but rather as hunters. Well, the 1960s are a long time ago, even if much less has happened since then in terms of feminism and equality than hoped. Nevertheless, this power imbalance in the music business seems to me to be less dramatic than in the work environment: at least no job, no livelihood depends on a “no”. And at the same time, of course, it’s hard to push an idol away when it gets too close. Therefore, the same should apply to all rock stars as applies to every other person: never impose, never harass!
What is particularly important: no matter how naïve some of the young women may have been or are – they are never, quite simply NEVER to blame for actions that happen against their will. It’s not the inexperienced, trusting people (who may not even want to see themselves as ‘victims’, so I don’t call them that) are the perpetrators, the perpetrators are the perpetrators. Always.
If this whole thing is going to be good for anything, it’s hopefully for raising awareness of dangers that most didn’t even know existed. For example: If someone asks you to hand over your cell phone before you can party somewhere, then take your cell phone and go home immediately! It’s a pity, of course, that such warnings are even necessary. But just reality.