How do you celebrate Mother’s Day with five generations? ‘At 6 p.m. I’ll say: get out’ | Interior

In the home of Marie Vink-Bron (84) in The Hague, where she has lived since 1970, it is a sweet idea. The family lives within walking distance of each other and regularly comes by for a cup of coffee with whipped cream cake. Great-great-grandmother Marie is the head of the family. Her 48 family members span no fewer than five generations. Five generations of women too: Marie (84), Nelly (66), Cinderella (48), Alisha (25) and Abigail (4).

Mother’s Day is naturally celebrated in such an extended family: in two rounds. The first round traditionally starts on Saturday. Then dozens of relatives and supporters come along. When the weather is nice, they sit in the garden and everyone is treated to cake and ‘nice heartiness’. Marie: ,,Then we also bake a fish.” Photo albums are leafed through and there is a moment of reflection, during which Marie’s husband, Piet Vink, died in 2000 at the age of 63.

A Mother’s Day breakfast follows on Sunday: a habit that goes back to Marie’s childhood. ,,I arrived at grandma’s early in the morning, so that I could put something delicious on the table for her. And I was always ready to help when visitors came,” she says. Granddaughter Cinderella: ,,We used to make fresh croissants for mom at home. I learned that from you, grandma.” Daughter Nelly: ,,Even when Cinderella lived in Rijswijk, she came all the way with a basket of sandwiches and a creative job early in the morning.” Cinderella: ,,I not only wanted to buy something, but also to make something for my mother. Even though I was an adult.”

But Marie – even though she is very hospitable – doesn’t like people who stick around, Cinderella notes. Marie, smiling mischievously: ,,You are welcome from early in the morning, but at 6 pm I say: get out. I took that over from my mother.” Cinderella: ,,At a certain point grandma suddenly starts cleaning up and emptying ashtrays.” Marie: ,,When half of the visitors used to be there, my father would say ‘I’m going to lie down’ and my mother calmly went to do the dishes.” Alisha: ,,Since I’m older, I also make it a nice day out with my mother (Cinderella).” Marie and Nelly: , ,We also. Then we’ll go to a musical or a movie.”

Marie – born in 1939 – remembers that Mother’s Day was not celebrated extensively just after the war: ,,I am of the generation that we started to get things right. I worked since I was 14 and then you also gave bigger gifts. My mother always said ‘child, you shouldn’t have done that.’ Great-granddaughter Alisha: ‘My children give me projects that they make at the shelter.’ Cinderella to grandma: ‘Have you kept my projects?’ Marie: ,,I throw everything away. I count to ten and that’s why I kept some small things.” Nelly: ,,I keep everything. I have a display case coffee table where I keep all Mother’s Day cards and stuff.” Nelly to mother Marie: ,,You always said: Mother’s Day is flower day.” Marie: ,,That’s right. I always get flowers. Some do a scent, but I have enough scents and tissues so we’ll stop with that now. I like to get plants for the backyard.”

Great-great-grandmother Marie and grandmother Nelly were both 17 years old when they became mothers. Cinderella: ,,I was 22 when I had my first child, so I thought that was relatively old.” Cinderella’s daughter Alisha said at a very young age that she wanted to be a mother and she became that when she was 21. Marie: ,,But okay; motherhood has to be given to you.” Marie has always been a strong supporter of mothers continuing to work outside the home. “I taught everyone to work hard and be independent.” When Marie was growing up, you had to stop working as soon as you got married. Before her marriage she lived with her parents in Scheveningen and at the age of 14 she made fishing nets by hand. She was only able to resume working at an older age. She worked, among other things, as a salesman in a fish shop and as a hostess in a beach bar.

Marie herself did not necessarily have the desire to become a mother very young. ,, My husband said: Are you going to make a baby? Then we will live ‘on our own’. Then I thought: what is he saying? And it worked in one go.” Alisha: ,,We are just very fertile. I met my fiancé during dance class. We were so in love with each other. At one point he asked me: shall we start having children?” Nelly: ,,You did indeed know him for three months and then you were pregnant. History repeats itself.”

They take parenting tips from each other. Cinderella: ,,I was there when Alisha gave birth to her first child and my first grandchild. I found this so intense that I immediately called my grandmother to ask her how she was able to do that. My grandmother was present at every birth of her daughters and at many births of her granddaughters. I was already traumatized after my daughter’s first birth,” she says with a smile. Marie: ,,I really enjoy having so many children and grandchildren. I’m so proud of everyone.” Cinderella: ,,Togetherness and independence I also inherited from my mother.” Alisha: ,,Isn’t it? You were independent, but grandmother Nelly wanted to keep you close to her, right?” Nelly: ,,I have four children with different characters. I had to be strict with one and not with the other. Cinderella was not even allowed to leave the square, so to speak. She wrote in her diary that she had to go shopping with her mother again. I did read that.”

When Alisha tells that she has learned from her mother to always have a goal in life, it becomes too much for Alisha and her mother Cinderella and tears come. Alisha: ,,Of course I sometimes call my mother for advice and assistance. She is always there for me. Everyone in the family is there for each other, through thick and thin.” Cinderella: ,,She calls me every day. At one point she said: Here’s your stalker again.” Marie: “It used to be a nursery here at my house.”

Every Wednesday, Cinderella babysits her three grandchildren. After her maternity leave, Alisha picks up her job at the daycare and then she takes her baby with her. Alisha: ,,I feel every smile or tear of my children. I now understand what my mother went through with me. Raising three kids together can be tough at times, but I can’t complain, because my great-great-grandmother has six. Motherhood is such a beautiful thing and actually impossible to explain. My friends are still studying and travelling, but I want to enjoy my children and motherhood first. My girlfriends support me in this and that is why I see them as aunts to my children. You give up part of your freedom as a young mother, but I reserve that freedom for when the children are grown. For example, I know that I want to continue studying in the future.”

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