Column | President in distress

I don’t know much about waging war, but do I understand that the Russians are angry because Putin almost got hit by a drone this week? Was that against international rules? So Vladimir can destroy everything in Ukraine. Children’s hospitals, residential areas, nuclear power plants and, above all, many innocent people. But if a rocket comes his way, sir will beep. What a wimp. And how godforsaken funny that throwing to death one of the dirtiest killers of our time is seen as transgressive.

Even funnier? That Caroline from the peasant party who avoided Zelensky last Thursday because he disrupted our commemoration of death. Plus the journalist from some Dutch idiot (I’m guessing SBS) who asked Zelensky what he thought about Van der Plas missing his speech. So the man who travels more than Pope John Paul II ever did and just to prevent the utter slaughter of his people is seriously asked if Caroline van der Plas’s absence affects him. Caroline who, when she asks her constituents to iron the flags hung upside down, sees that almost all farmer’s wives climb the flagpole with an iron. Even Rutte was ashamed of this school newspaper journalist. And we all know: Mark is hardly ashamed of anything.

Zelensky couldn’t have chosen a better time than this May Fourth. It’s wonderful when someone from the practice cycles by on that particular day. A president in distress. A man whose country has been ravaged by a bloody war and who urgently needs help. Because the need is increasing and the shelves in the supermarkets are empty.

But so are ours. At least the one at Appie. That’s where the ground crew went on strike. Delicious. The employees of the distribution centers also want something from the overflowing honey pot, which Ahold owes to the very successful corona virus. Will Ahold’s top boss, the man who catches 6.5 million annually, personally negotiate with those warehouse types? Or does he outsource that because otherwise the blush of shame drips from his chubby cheeks? It seems complicated to me to talk with such a full mouth. And he can’t tell those union vests that the money is unfortunately not there. They will round off on Monday and you can only hope that the strikers keep their leg stiff for a while. Just a few more percent. And then? On to Jumbo! There, the former CEO filled his swimming pool with five hundred bills. So quickly get on that diving board.

As a distribution employee of the Appie, what would I do with the extra money? I would invest it in Pierre The Affiliate website. Why? Because money doesn’t bring happiness and you better get rid of it. It only brings misery. Who is Pierre The Affiliate? A financial internet sneak who promises stupid people a lot of money via TikTok. How? You will only get that answer if you first transfer him some money. He immediately wants all your credit card information. Pierre lures you to his website in a few deft films with a beautiful kind of coal English. My son tipped me off. Why? Because Pierre The Affiliate is the face mask criminal Camille van Gestel. The partner in crime of our Sywert and Bernd Damme. Camille has become more honest. In his face mask days, he and those two others lied to each other, but now he openly presents himself as a filthy scammer. He basically just admits that he tries to screw his customers.

Openly pulling money out of stupid people. I always think it’s pretty. A friend of mine spent an hour listening to Barack Obama’s tile wisdom in the Ziggo Dome on Monday and said afterwards, just like the rest of the other 14,000 people, that it had been more than worth the 600 euros. So inspiring that Barack. His conclusion of this hour that Obama is left with a million? He also becomes president. But in need of money.