Column | Dull thump – NRC

Am I reading that fewer and fewer Dutch people are sexually active and that only the 75+ people are still regularly getting their buttocks? Didn’t those old people in that survey just brag?

It’s important how often you do it. Mark Rutte was also recently questioned about this at the subtle Inside today. He kept that to himself and he’s right. To share this kind of intimacy with Wilfred Genee and his friends is also going a bit far.

But at least Mark didn’t have to lie. That is also fun for him once again. How will he be since Wednesday? And with Wopke and Sigrid? How was their cabinet meeting on Friday afternoon? Has there been laughter? Or have they been looking at the plug and not daring to say it all three? How did they react to the complaints from Limburg because the generous claims settlement after the floods promised by Mark is completely wrong? Did they appoint a committee with a sigh? Or experts from Groningen sent that way? Or has Mark told the press that it is complicated. Complex. And that they do everything they can. Everything. Really everything. As quickly as possible.

Will Mark, Wopke and Sigrid really not have seen the dull thump that the people delivered through Lientje coming? At least they didn’t expect it to be so crushingly loud. But all three know that after their own sleepy misbehavior, this is just the beginning. That things could go three times as fast in the upcoming parliamentary elections.

What will the House look like after the next elections? Mark has been in Europe for a while by then and has left his never archived mess to poor Sophietje. She will see the party steadily shrink. And Sigrid? He also started doing something international. Her civilized following goes to Volt, which becomes a somewhat boring middle party. Wopke also packed his bags before then and found a good job. Maybe he wants to lead that construction company Strukton owned by that crazy Gerard Sanderink. Crazy Gerard, who was ranting in court against the judges and his ex last week and was eventually brought home by his equally bonkers girlfriend Rian van Rijbroek. Or to the clinic of course.

Back to politics. Hugo de Jonge will soon become mayor in a Zeeland town where Sywert pays for a holiday bungalow in cash, while the CDA itself has degenerated into a loner in the splinter benches of our parliament. Next to Sylvana and Wybren. And Lilian if she’s not careful. The broad fractions are then those of Pieter and Caroline. The latter in particular will cause a major turnaround in the use of language in our parliament. Maybe the NOS will decide to subtitle all debates from now on because otherwise no one will understand what those farmers are talking about. And are we going to play ball and bounce in Studio Sport?

Or will a serious civil war break out within BBB before then? Just like then in the LPF and the later Forum. That is lucrative for columnists. At the time I laughed hard at those idiots in both parties. Who still thinks about Bomhoff’s bell? Or the ridiculous plane spotter Mat Herben? Who still listens to the song ‘Hey Jumpen’ by Hilbrand Nawijn? The video is still on YouTube. Not to mention that Winnie de Jong. Those were golden times for all of us. In that respect, I hope that some crazy people will continue to vote for Thierry. Isn’t that top entertainment? His last ‘victory speech’ last Wednesday evening, after he had to hand in almost all his seats, was legendary, wasn’t it? No, that boy doesn’t powder his nose at all.

But according to Caroline, her party will remain stable in the coming years. That means the land will become grassy and nettle. And the tortured cows, pigs and chickens? Patience! That is far from a clean thing in this case.