Niklas Schmidt has made it public that he suffers from mental problems. In the Sportblitz interview, he tells how he lives with the disease and what helps him.
When Niklas Schmidt is on the soccer field, all seems right with the world. But the impression is deceptive. The 25-year-old suffers from depression and spoke about it for the first time during Werder’s training camp in January.
Schmidt only realized that something was wrong when those around him repeatedly expressed concern last fall because he was withdrawing more and more. “I no longer had any zest for life,” he says in an interview with Sportblitz and wants to promote seeing the disease as a disease and addressing the issue more openly: “I want to tell people that there is no shame and that you can live well with it can.”
Niklas Schmidt, the team had a two-day break after beating Bochum. Did you enjoy them?
It was nice, I made good use of the time at home and relaxed. I didn’t watch that much football. The weather was fine too, I was outside a lot, going for walks with my girlfriend. Then I went jogging a bit to clear my head. Now I’m fresh again.
Did you watch your goal to make it 2-0 again?
Yes, at the moment you are full of adrenaline and don’t really get it. But when you watch it again on TV, it’s pure joy and it was cool that the whole stadium stood up.
Good afternoon for Werder: Niklas Schmidt scored in the 2-0 win over Bochum.
If one sees you as a spectator on the field, one would not even think that you are ill. You suffer from depression, and you deliberately made it public in January. How are you now?
I’m doing much better than I was half a year ago. But it’s difficult because it’s so dynamic. It’s incredible mood swings you have. Every day is different. I am in close contact with my psychologist, which helps me a lot. We meet once a week and are just rolling up childhood.
Some things have accumulated, a lot of what you have experienced comes together. But it’s hard to say what exactly it comes from. Speaking is the most important thing for me at the moment. I’m on the right track, but I just need more time.
When did you realize that something was wrong?
When those around me told me that I had changed and that I would withdraw a lot and want to be alone a lot. At that moment I didn’t want to hear it as a person affected. I thought to myself: ‘They’re just talking nonsense.’ But if that happens again and again and my mother also notices after a visit that something is wrong, then you think: ‘Okay, I have to do something now.’ The zest for life was gone. And so I had to seek help and act quickly. It was just before twelve.
What have you done?
It was the week before the Freiburg game, in mid-October, when I wasn’t in the squad. Before that it really started, I also had a small breakout. Then it all became too much. Then the head said: ‘Look at yourself now, relax and talk to someone about it.’ Up until that point, only my family and my girlfriend knew. Then I tried to talk to Ole Werner and those responsible at the club. I have a great coach who listened to me and understood me. That helped me a lot, I felt like I was in very good hands right away.
Werder professional Niklas Schmidt (right) in conversation with Sportblitz reporter Stephan Schiffner.
How have you been able to keep your professional life for so long?
It wasn’t that difficult for me. When I’m on the pitch, I feel incredibly comfortable and have fun. Then I could hide everything else completely. The problem then was that at some point I was no longer doing well in my private life. I couldn’t switch off anymore, I thought about every little thing. And that got me down. It was incredibly difficult, I was never really free in my head. It felt like a volcano that wants to erupt but can’t erupt. At some point it happened.
Have you ever considered giving up your professional career because of this?
Honestly: yes. You start having doubts. When you’re depressed, you question everything. Think about every little thing. To end your career abruptly, the impulse was not there. But the considerations were there to do it. I then spoke to people who were honest with me and didn’t just tell me what I wanted to hear.
Why did you deliberately go public?
It’s an extremely difficult subject, even for me. This is completely new territory. Nowadays you want to come across as strong and pretend that everything just bounces off you. But that’s not the case. Footballers are people too, with mistakes and weaknesses. Some have a hard core, but I had a soft core at the moment and that’s totally fine too. I feel comfortable saying it. And that’s why I did it.
Niklas Schmidt is grateful for the positive feedback and advocates more openness on the subject of depression.
Did you still find it difficult?
Talking always helps. But all my life I wasn’t the type to talk a lot and approach people. I had to reinvent myself then. Now, when I have something on my mind, I try to approach people and talk to them.
Also with your teammates at Werder?
The guys in the team have a good sense of when I’m not having such a good day. But they don’t treat me any differently either. And if I make a mistake on the pitch, they can yell at me, that’s totally fine. But they are open to the topic, which helps me a lot. Talking is the only thing that really helps. And we can also talk about things that are sometimes uncomfortable.
You received very good feedback on your statements. Was there a concern that there would also be a lack of understanding?
I think at that moment you don’t even think about what people will think. If it had been interpreted negatively, I wouldn’t have cared in that case because it just had to come out. That was the best thing for me, my family and those close to me, and of course my team. So they could all react, they all knew. But I was glad that there was very good feedback and that I found open ears. And for that I can only say thank you.
“I feel a lot better than I did half a year ago,” says Niklas Schmidt.
It’s all still quite fresh for you, but you still seem very reflective. Is the impression wrong?
It’s going in the right direction and I feel a lot better. The fact that I said it often cleared my head again. I make no secret of it because it is a very important topic. It’s a disease – and you should see it as such. Especially because a lot can come out of depression. Unfortunately also a lot of bad luck if you do something to yourself. And we should be more open to the topic.
I want to let people know that there is no shame and that you can live with it. Even if you sometimes think that you can’t go on or you ask yourself: ‘Why isn’t it getting better?’ I feel extremely comfortable in the hands I am in and trust them. And I hope that at some point I can put it 100 percent behind me and only look ahead.
You just turned 25 years old. What do you wish?
Health. 100% health for me and everyone close to me. The rest is to come and I’m very excited to see what’s to come.
(The conversation was conducted by Stephan Schiffner, recorded by Petra Philippsen.)
