Emotional management allows children to be masters of their behavior and behavior with others
The management of emotions of our sons and daughters is a complicated issue, especially for mothers and fathers who have not been educated in emotional intelligence. However, if we dedicate effort and perseverance to work on it, we can achieve, among other things, a better understanding of our children and ourselves.
Begona Ibarrola, psychologist and expert in emotional education, spoke to us about how to try to manage our emotions and those of our children in this presentation. And it is that emotional management is more important than many think, since “if emotions are repressed, they harm us; and if they express themselves in a bad way, they hurt others & rdquor ;.
But what can we mothers and fathers do to manage our children’s feelings? Begoña explained that emotions “are tools to move around in the world, to give versatile, flexible responses, even to be able to make decisions”. And it is important to keep in mind that “all emotions are legitimate, we cannot say that some are good and others are bad; they are all good for something & rdquor ;, we just have to educate them.
The 5 basic emotions and how to manage them
There are numerous emotions, Begoña told us about the 5 most recognized and gave us some keys to manage them
Joy
The easiest emotion to manage. “Joy favors well-being, health, communication & rdquor ;, Begoña points out. However, moments of joy are rarely celebrated as a family and “we should look for moments every day to celebrate something, to have fun together & rdquor ;. Teachers in the classroom also have to provoke successful experiences, “so that their students smile and say: I can, I’m worth it!”
The sadness
This is the real test for mothers and fathers, because no one wants their children to suffer, but no one can help it either. It is so important to know how to manage this emotion that poor management of it can lead to depression, for this reason, “good emotional management is also prevention of mental health”. When our children are sad, therefore, our role is to accompany them, listen to them, empathize with them… not block your sadness & rdquor ;.
The fear
Fear protects us, makes us be cautious in certain situations. However, “controlling and managing fear well will prevent our sons and daughters from developing phobias.” Therefore, telling them that “nothing happens & rdquor; not a good option. Instead, we can tell them that we are there to help them, to encourage them to face their fears. Because Begoña, “being brave is not not being afraid, being brave is being able to face your fears”.
Anger
The emotion that is most difficult for us to manage. It is important to teach them to get angry well, that is, to express that you are angry, to use a resounding tone of voice, to put on an angry face… but do not insult or attack, nor repress it. That is why the key in these situations, according to Begoña, lies in “not joining their chaos and acting calmly & rdquor ;.
Love
“It is the emotion that allows the healthy and balanced growth of the family”. This is because “it provides security, improves the self-esteem of our sons and daughters, invites them to dare, to be autonomous”, but we must bear in mind that poorly managed love can lead to emotional dependency.