Lisette’s children play a lot: ‘They couldn’t stop and that caused irritation’ | Healthy

„It just happened that my children were gaming for more than three hours a day, especially Fortnite was popular”, says Lisette van der Kuij, mother of three children (16, 15, 12). “They were sporty and had a lot of boyfriends, but I noticed that they stayed inside longer because of the gaming. They became annoying and it was harder to connect with them. They had no official game addiction, but often could not stop and that caused irritation and discussions at home.”

When do you speak of a gaming addiction? “If you notice that your daily life and necessary activities such as eating, drinking, sleeping and going to school or work start to suffer,” says Lidewy Hendriks, psychologist at Mind Kor Relatie. She explains that it is difficult to express a gaming addiction in hours. “You don’t have to worry if your child is gaming for a day. But ring the bell when the balance is off and it becomes obsessed, no longer keeps appointments and would rather stay home to play games than to meet up with friends.”

In addition, a game addiction is often accompanied by health problems such as headaches, insomnia, obsessive thoughts or depression. People with a game addiction tend to keep themselves awake for hours so that they can continue playing as long as possible, sometimes under the influence of drugs and/or alcohol.

“Game addiction is often seen as an escape from the real world. It is a compulsive and constant need to play computer games,” says Hendriks. The games have no end and that can make it difficult for people who are addicted to quit. If that is the case, then therapy can offer a solution.

The psychologist explains that it is important that you immerse yourself in your child and the game they play. “Show interest. It is important that you connect in a certain way. Immerse yourself in someone’s world and play along once. That way you know what your child is so busy with. After that, you can set limits and make agreements, and there is a greater chance that your child will stick to them.”

It is also important not to facilitate money problems. You need money for some games and if your child or partner asks you for money, it is important not to go along with it. “Indicate that it is someone’s own choice, you can tell that you hate it, but that it will not help you. Be clear about the consequences.”

It is also good to realize that gaming also has positive sides. Consider the fact that children can meet new people through gaming. In addition, it can help with the development of cognitive skills such as processing information and the fact that they are always in a different world can be beneficial to their creativity.

What does Van der Kuij think of the advice? “Good tips. I find that it helps to be clear about how long they can play, for example set an alarm. I myself have mytiming cards devised, time cards with a timer, making it easier for children to stop gaming.” Finally, Hendriks would also like to take a closer look at your own behavior: “Make sure that you are not also scrolling on your phone for hours on end.”