When you lose a parent at a young age, an anchor of your existence falls away. A major blow, which the environment does not always know how to deal with. With a group of former colleagues, Quincy Ommel (26) from Alkmaar therefore decided to set up a weekly podcast with the aim of making the subject more open to discussion. The first episode was online at the end of last week. The next one is coming soon.
The idea for a podcast arose a few years ago in a restaurant in Bergen. “Within five years, three colleagues and I had all lost a parent at a young age,” says Quincy Ommel from Alkmaar, who lost his mother at the age of 20. The colleagues were able to talk about it well with each other, but found that the environment had difficulty raising the subject.
“It’s because we are young,” explains Ommel. “At school you also don’t learn to deal with death. There is little talk about it.” The environment finds talking uncomfortable, friends prefer not to mention it for fear of upsetting the other. “And that’s a shame,” says Ommel.
candid conversations
The group of boys regularly had conversations about dealing with death. All four experience it differently, because every situation is different. One could have said goodbye, the other couldn’t. One is more of an insider and on his own, the other prefers to have a lot of people around him.
They were frank conversations, for example about shame. The feeling of not thinking enough about the deceased parent. “Whoever wanted to make this a topic of discussion did not dare to say it to anyone else. Except to us. We have experienced the same and do not judge.”
Listen to the first episode below:
During the conversations, the environment listened attentively. They learned from the way the friends talked about the subject and motivated them to do something about it. And that’s how the podcast – ‘The One Parent Association’ – came about. The goal: To create something to be proud of and to offer tools to make death and mourning more open to discussion.
The podcast almost didn’t get there: “We had underestimated the making process, but thanks to the trust and friendship of friend Bas we continued with it.” The first episode was online at the end of last week.
New insights
The number of listeners and reactions to the first episode give the boys a lot of satisfaction. “Let people know that they experience real support.” The environment of the boys themselves gave it new insights. “We all now have a relationship that our parents did not know. The podcast made the situation about the loss of the parent more palpable for them.”
Not only does the podcast help young people in similar situations and their environment, it also provided new insights for the makers themselves. “For one of the episodes I talked to my sister. I was very nervous about that. We had hardly talked about death since the death of my mother,” says Ommel candidly.
He experienced the conversation as confrontational. “I also apparently found it difficult to ask about my sister’s feelings. I was afraid that we were different. Because of the podcast, we start the conversation again.” If it’s up to the friends, many more helpful episodes will follow. And there will be a definitive end to the cloud of shame and discomfort that has hung over the subject for years.
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