You can decide for yourself when enough is enough. This is what these Brabanders think, who have signed Wim van Dijk’s petition. Others believe that that choice is not yours and that you do not live only for yourself. It is at the heart of the debate about euthanasia: is it your own choice or a social limit?
With his petition and bill, Van Dijk wants people to be able to decide for themselves about their own end of life. Doctors and care providers give advice, but do not determine whether someone is suffering ‘severely enough’. Certified end-of-life counselors provide assistance so that people with unbearable suffering do not have to wait.
The initiative was submitted on Tuesday in The Hague with almost 76,000 signatures, with the aim of reigniting the debate on euthanasia.
For Mary Beunders (63) from Den Bosch, the subject is personal. She saw her mother slowly deteriorate after a fall and brain damage. “To us she was still the old Rina, but not to herself anymore,” she says. “She said, if I fall again, leave me down.”
Her mother tried to arrange everything: she recorded a video for her children, wrote a letter for the doctor and told her family that she did not want to continue if her health deteriorated. But when she eventually became demented, she could no longer fulfill that wish. “She just sat there, not interested. I kept thinking: what are we doing this for,” says Mary. “This must be possible differently.”
“I want to prevent that suffering.”
Fiona Conrads (75) from Gilze signed for her father, who had prostate cancer and wanted euthanasia, but was not yet eligible. “He said: ‘I want to prevent that suffering,'” she says. He lived in pain and fear for another two years. “But the specialist said: ‘It’s not that easy’. He was only given euthanasia in his final phase. “He suffered unnecessarily.”
Jan (62) and Anja Vos (68) from Eindhoven support the petition because of the situation of Jan’s father (91), who says he ‘doesn’t want to live anymore’ after losing his wife and daughter. According to the GP, euthanasia is not an option. “You can stop eating and drinking, but that can take weeks. If you have had a completed life, why shouldn’t it?”
Ann de Wall (70) from Meierijstad also advocates more freedom of choice after experiences in healthcare. She saw seriously ill elderly people in difficult situations. “Self-determination is a great thing for me,” she says. “We put animals to sleep to prevent suffering, but people sometimes have to carry on.”
Maarten van der Sande (65) from Waalre saw how beautiful a self-chosen ending can be. After a broken hip, his father decided that he did not want to continue living if he lost his independence.
The last days at home were special, he says. Family came by, there was time for conversations and farewells. “Death is part of life, he said. And I have had a beautiful life.” Van der Sande often thinks back to that week. “I would wish such a farewell on everyone.”
“Life is not yours alone.”
However, not everyone agrees with relaxing the rules. Theologian Frank Bosman himself does not take a position on the expansion of euthanasia, but explains why people may have difficulty with it. “The life not only of yourself, but also of your environment: family, friends and society,” he explains.
According to him, the idea of complete autonomy raises questions about control and responsibility. People often try to control life, but birth and death cannot be planned. “We are confronted with life that escapes our control,” he says.
Yet Bosman thinks that supporters and opponents ultimately have the same thing: a dignified life and a good ending, but that they look differently at how you can achieve this.
Milou opted for euthanasia
Milou was only 17 years old when she opted for euthanasia after a long period of hopeless psychological suffering. Her story is told in the moving documentary Milou’s struggle continueswhich can be viewed for free and without an account at Brabant+.