THEimagine the scene. You and your partner are on the couch at home: you absorbed in your book, he with headphones and joystick. Close, but each in their own world, in their own bubble. This is the parallel playthe new viral ritual on TikTok which promises to strengthen harmony and emotional independence in life as a couple. With over 51 million hashtags, it seems the well-being elixir for the modern couple: being together without obligation to interact. But behind the social facade, what really happens to the relationship? According to many experts, this mode hides complex desires of autonomy and sometimes of emotional protection and distancing from the partner.
Parallel play: does it really help intimacy between you and your partner?
The parallel play is now viral on TikTok is inspired by a natural stage of childhood developmentwhat you see children between the ages of two and three play side by side, without cooperating, each in his own fantasy universe. Transposed to adults, parallel play means respect your own spaces and needsdespite sharing the same environment as your life partner. The positive sideaccording to the experts: finally everyone can cultivate their passions without feeling bound by an all-encompassing and fusional couple model. However, double-edged freedom can become an excuseavoiding emotional confrontation and, in the long run, risking impoverish and weaken the bondin the direction of a strong individualism.
The risk (in the long run): shunning shared vulnerability
Behind the search for independence inherent in parallel play is often hiddenfear of emotional dependencea fear under the skin that, in many people, makes them fear and shy away from every form of shared vulnerability. According to many psychologists, a small dependence on the partner is, in reality, to be considered positive: it means admitting that “my life is better with you”.
Avoid moments of intimacy or confrontation for fear of emotional burden risks transforming parallel play into disguised isolation.
Certain, remaining silent next to your partner is healthy in certain contextsequates to beneficial spontaneity and can nourish the well-being of both, but only if chosen and “practiced” with awarenessnot as an escape from the other. True intimacy is built in moments of sharing, despite tiredness, bad days and distractions: that’s where the bond of love is consolidated.