Tristan: “I was trained in philosophy and history, but I now teach Dutch at a secondary school. There is a surplus of history teachers and a shortage of Dutch teachers. I started at the end of last year and teach from second to fifth grade. If I like it, I will start training to become a first-grade teacher next year.”
Emma: “I have been working at a small private school for pre-vocational secondary education (VMBO) basic/middle level for three years, with learning support. We have 65, 70 students. That is something different from Tristan.”
Tristan: “Yes, we have more than 1,200.”
Emma: “I went to art school and teach all creative and craft subjects at school, such as woodworking and textile work. I also teach theater, and I have a mentor class. Becoming a teacher was not exactly a lifelong dream. As an adolescent I did not have much affinity with school. I skipped school a lot.”
Tristan: “Then you have to tell me how.”
Emma: “Yes, I was a bit of a strange truant. As a teenager, I really found school to be a restriction of my freedom. So I often went back home to read a book or lie in the bath. But now I really enjoy teaching. Especially because of the variety; I teach so many different lessons! And dealing with those students is also funny.”
Tristan: “You have to be able to handle being scolded every now and then.”
Emma: “Fortunately, that doesn’t happen on a daily basis. But it does happen, indeed. You have to be able to see the humor in it. Otherwise it will be difficult.”
Tristan: “I like the freedom and autonomy of the subject. Of course you have a department leader, but in the classroom you have a lot of space to shape your own lessons. I hope that I am a nice teacher, who is perhaps a bit academic. I suspect that I can also be long-winded.”
Tristan’s cuddly toy that he always takes with him when visiting museums.
Photo Mona van den Berg
Emma: “I suspect so too.”
Tristan: “I just enjoy speaking; I’ll admit that honestly. But that’s out of enthusiasm! A disadvantage of this work is that it takes a lot of energy. I also had an office job for a while. Then you’re still quite fresh after a working day. Now I teach eight lessons in a row on Wednesdays. Then I’m really mentally exhausted afterwards.”
Emma: “But we already notice that we are gaining more experience. We always cycle to work in Zeist together. At first, the way back was always a kind of idle half-hour in which we told each other what we had experienced. Now we no longer share every time we sent someone out.”
Luxury life
Tristan: “In terms of work-life balance, we actually have a luxurious life. We are very satisfied. We both work four days and yes, after a working day you are tired, but that’s fine. With this work you don’t have to think all the time: what’s the point of this? Because that is quite clear. And you get paid nicely for it.”
Emma: “Now of course we have to say how many times average that is? I always look at that first in this section.”
Tristan: “How much is one average? Ah, 3,800 gross per month. We are a bit below that. But I really can’t complain about it. I’m still in the euphoric phase that after my studies I suddenly earn money! That I can pay for beer for my friends or buy a car. We did that a few weeks ago. That’s really good. If I have to name something that stresses me out, it might be my phone.”
Emma: “I have that too. I am a bad texter. I am known for responding late or not at all.”
Tristan: “I have my periods. Sometimes I text a lot, sometimes it completely disappoints me for a period. But then I feel that I should actually respond to all those messages. I notice the same sentiment in my students. The feeling of: there is no escape. If no one had a telephone, that would be nice. But if you are the only one not participating in that race, you still feel pressure to participate with the rest.”
On a date to grandma’s
Emma: “We haven’t known each other that long. Eight months now, of which we have been living together for three months. It all happened quickly.”
Tristan: “On our first date we walked for a long time. Then we somehow talked for a long time about Anja Meulenbelt, the feminist writer.”
Emma: “I had received two books from her for my birthday and I actually wanted to read her debut as well, Beyond the shame. I thought: maybe my grandmother has that. So on our third date we went to my grandmother in Rotterdam, who indeed had that book in her box of feminist literature from the seventies. We then read that to each other. Yes, romantic, right? I think we fell for each other then.”
Tristan: “In line with this, we have divided the tasks at home fairly.”
Emma: “I clean and do the laundry, you always cook and do the shopping.”
Tristan: “Yes, that is of course also typical. In the past, the division between men and women was unequal. Now that the man does more, he often takes on the cooking: the only part of the household that still deserves some credit. No one ever says: gosh, what a beautifully cleaned toilet. While you say about the food every day: mmm, how delicious, thank you. So I find it disappointing that we also fell into that trap. But in terms of mental labor I think we are equal.”
Emma: “Yes, maybe you can do even more. You keep an eye on our joint agenda.”
Tristan: “That is quite typical for the bubble we are in, I think. I am happy with that. I would not want to be seen as someone who is not concerned with that.”
Emma Agterberg (29) is a teacher at a small-scale private school in Zeist for basic pre-vocational secondary education (VMBO). She teaches various creative and craft subjects there. Tristan Staupe (29) is a Dutch teacher at another secondary school in Zeist. They have been living since three
months together in a rental apartment in the Kanaleneiland district of Utrecht.
What is your last Tikkie sent?
Emma: “The advanced internet bill, for my old housemates, 29 euros and 20 cents.”
Tristan: “My father needed an iPad and I still had a good one lying around. He bought it for 200 euros.”
Weekly shopping or going to the supermarket every day?
Emma and Tristan attempted to do a week’s worth of groceries. That was not a complete success. Tristan: “I just want to be able to eat what I feel like eating now. And no pointed cabbage because there happens to be a pointed cabbage in the refrigerator that needs to be used up.”
What’s your last biggest expense?
A green Volvo 940 from 1998 for 4,000 euros. Tristan: “We bought a lot through Marktplaats before living together. Every time a cupboard or chair fit exactly in the trunk again, the purchase price was justified.”
Second-hand or rather new?
Secondhand. Emma: “The only thing we bought new when we moved is our bed.”
What are you saving for?
A holiday to Sweden or Italy.
Who cleans up the house?
Tristan: “I like making piles and stuff.” Emma: “Yes, and then I clean it afterwards.”
What was really a bad buy?
The Anvia lamp above the dining table, 400 euros. Tristan: “There should be a spring in it so that you can hang the lamp at all heights. But that is broken. Now it actually hangs just too low.”
Who decides what you will eat?
Tristan: “That’s me. I prefer to cook something Italian: simple but tasty.”
What do you feel guilty about spending money on?
Emma: “Cigarettes. I am a ‘party smoker’ and so buy a pack every now and then. Although that feeling of guilt is more about my health than about the money.” Tristan: “Books from me. Or at least: I don’t feel guilty about buying them. But then they can stare at you accusingly from the bookcase. Like: read me!”
Best tip for household or finances?
Shopping while running. Tristan: “We’ll just take a backpack with us. That works fine.”
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