Behavioral psychologist Chantal van der Leest examines our behavior in the workplace: who or what determines our daily decisions? Today: even minor work pain matters.
I actually think it’s nonsense, but secretly I still suffer from my corona infection from two weeks ago. My brain feels like a bowl of strawberry curd, information just doesn’t want to get in and no ideas come out either. I also have difficulty getting my body out of bed, off the couch, on the bike and let alone behind a computer. Woe to me. But when I complain I feel guilty. Because war is worse, the news often reminds us of that. So: cheer up, life is beautiful and stay positive. Or negative, if it concerns a corona test.
We Dutch don’t like complainers. You are not allowed to say that you are hungry, because ‘children in Africa, they are only hungry’. You can cycle perfectly well in the rain, because ‘you are not made of sugar’. When at the beginning of corona, grumpy teenagers were in the news because their end-of-year gala was canceled while they already had their outfit, they were immediately blown away by someone who had experienced the war.
Worse and very worst
But guys, it’s not a competition, is it? Everyone experiences their feelings differently and you can’t make an objective list of things that are bad, worse and worst of all. And even though it may be small suffering, it still feels bad. The pinnacle of bad — no, but real — are people who force their toxic positivity on you. That you lost your laptop on the train or spill tea on your white sweater and someone says: ‘Now you can at least buy a new laptop!’ or ‘luckily it’s not strawberry juice, you’ll never get it out!’
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The height of bad – no, but real – are people who force their toxic positivity on you
We learned somewhere that it’s good for you to be optimistic, but we’re all totally blown away. Negative feelings don’t go away if you compare them to something worse. It makes people swallow their feelings and stop seeking help when they need it. How then? You would rather acknowledge your feelings. Just stop and experience them. Whether it’s about a staple that has run out or an argument with your colleague. That will probably kick in right away.
Would you like to know more about psychology and work? Read Chantal’s books Why perfectionists are rarely happy, 13 tips against perfectionism (2021) and Our fallible thinking at work (2018).
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