No one is prepared to face one of life’s greatest challenges: educating children. Being a mother and being a father is a complex challenge, and many times we carry the guilt believing that we are not educating our son in the best way. It is important that we know that there are many things that we do well in our motherhood and fatherhood, and that even those things that we think we are doing wrong are good.
Therefore, to continue in this great challenge of educating our sons and daughters, we review 5 things that we do well as fathers and mothers that we believe are wrong.
Go to our sports or leisure activity in the afternoon
With the arrival of our children, all our free time is dedicated to them. Those mothers and fathers who continue to carry out sports activities or other hobbies some afternoons feel guilty when they feel that they are not being attended to. Giving ourselves space to cultivate the things we like will make us better fathers and mothers, have a better mood and dedicate that little bit of time to self-care.
Give unconditional love to our children
Have you ever heard “don’t take it so much that you’re going to get used to it”? Or “let him cry, because if he doesn’t he will be dependent on you and a softy”. We receive many messages from acquaintances and from society that say that we should not love our children so much: when they are small, if we are with them all the time, they will be very demanding; when they are growing up, if we hug them, comfort them and accompany their emotions when they are bad and we do not leave them alone in these situations, they will not learn to manage future conflicts and problems.
But it is quite the opposite. These signs of love and affection will encourage a better bond and a secure attachment with our child. This love will let you know that we are there to help you in any occasion.
Being exhausted and bringing dirty things home for dinner
Let’s stop to reflect on the following question: what comes to mind if we see a mother arrive with fast food? That she’s a bad mother who doesn’t have time to cook dinner. But what if that’s what the father does? He is a cool dad.
There is still a double standard when it comes to measuring and observing motherhood and fatherhood. It’s okay not to get to everything. It’s okay to give up and give way to improvisation and the resources that are closest to hand. This does not make us bad mothers or bad fathers, it makes us human. And it is that our children do not want us perfect, they want us happy. we are not being bad mothers no bad parents if we bring fast food for dinner we are doing all we can.
Going back to work and leaving other caregivers in charge of care
When maternity or paternity leave ends after our child is born, fathers and mothers find ourselves faced with the problem of what to do with the child while we have to go to work. Carrying more than 6 months without separating from her is complex both for us and for the baby. This guilt, above all, is carried more by the mothers, since they are the ones in charge of the exclusive feeding in the case of breastfeeding. But keep in mind that although we have become mothers and fathers, we are something beyond that. We must continue to develop as people, continue doing the things we like, always keeping our children in mind, but also keeping ourselves in mind.
Give up the position of our children to the other parent and give us some time
Let’s put it in a situation: our son has had a tantrum, before he has started painting the walls, and before that he has demanded all our attention. Our patience is one drop away from breaking the camel’s back. In these situations we think that we can’t take it anymore, that the children’s education is beyond us, that we need a few hours to get well again. And it is completely normal, because we carry the burden that we are not doing our duty, and even more so having time for them. Relinquishing office at this time is beneficial for both our well-being and our mental health.